When you are a girl drinking with your guy friends, it's inevitable you will learn a thing or two.
1. How to drink
Two mixed drinks and a couple of shots spaced throughout the entire night probably used to be plenty. A few weekends drinking with the boys though and you quickly learn how to properly spend your 21st year of life.
Before you know it, you are starting out the night with two long island pitchers (yes pitchers) and a round of shots from Brothers. A fishbowl (you heard me, a freaking fishbowl) and ANOTHER round of shots from The Pioneer and well, to be honest, you don't really know what you drank from 11 p.m. to bar close because the 10 o'clock hour did you in.
Now when they text you "Bars?" you spend three hours minimum mentally preparing yourself for the damage about to be done.
2. NEVER bet one of them that you can out drink them
Remember THEY taught YOU how to drink so you never win this one. The only outcome is you puking all over the bathroom floor or worse, the table at the burrito place. Maybe even both.
3. They will always have your back
Even the one who is more shots deep than he knows he can handle will make sure you get home alive. They are willing to fight that creep on the dancefloor that grabbed you.
They almost always text you "wya?" when you've wandered off to the bathroom or the burrito place. They will even pay the $5 fee to cancel the $7 Uber because you and that Uber driver have a history.
4. You don't have to talk about your feelings
On the rare occasion that you are the one texting them "Bars?", all you have to say is that you're not great and that's that. They will spend the night making you laugh, cheering you on while you down more shots than normal, and put an extra solid effort into being your wingmen. Never once asking what's wrong or prying you to talk about your feelings.
5. No "random broad" will ever be good enough for them
You will not like any of the girls they bring home. They won't like your choice of men either. Fair enough.
6. They truly are the best
It's like having a bunch of brothers. They will never not pick on you, but they'd kill anyone else that does. They will make you laugh and annoy you all in the same sentence.
Even when you just want to throat punch them, you simply can't help but love them. And they will never admit it, but they love you too sis.
So, boys "Bars?"
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