6 Things That I Had to Learn on my Own
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6 Things That I Had to Learn on my Own

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn.

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6 Things That I Had to Learn on my Own
Addison Fry

1. You are more than your looks.

As soon as a woman is born, she is hypnotized by society to think her looks are all she is. If you’re a girl with short hair, men won’t find you appealing. Don’t be too tall either, it’s intimidating. Also, have a giant chest and a small waist. Your butt should be big too, but don't have stretch marks. They're disgusting. Have washboard abs, have straight, white teeth, and for the love of God, do not stand out from the rest. Don’t dye your hair. Don’t wear makeup, but don’t go out without it. Your legs better not have stubble. Sit still, look pretty. Smile, but say nothing. Laugh, but not too loudly. If there is one thing society should teach young girls, it’s not to try to be pretty, simply because you weren’t made to be. You were made to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Do not let anyone ever simplify you to just “pretty”.

2. Follow your arrow.

Say what you think. Love whoever you want. If you want to major in art, major in art, no matter how many times your parents roll their eyes. If you like singing, try out for the play, even if your teammates call you Peter Pan. If you like smoking pot every weekend, if you like drawing sunsets, if you like reading books in different languages: do it. Be a Train elephants for a living. Live at home until you're 45. Rescue any stray cat in a ten mile radius. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t, so you might as well be doing whatever you want.

“Do not let anyone ever tell you that you’re a failure. There are planets and stars in your eyes, and there are fires and oceans in your veins. Your head is a meadow, and you are a work of art.”

3. Do not be afraid to speak your mind.

Be married by 25, nice girls should take orders. We are urged to speak out 3. mind, unless it disagrees with someone else. A woman as president? How absurd. Women are far too hormonal, far too emotional, and far too unstable to hold power. Women create life inside them, but yet are still deemed as weak. We don’t need to raise our voice, we need to improve our argument. In ten years, make sure you can say that you chose your life and you didn’t settle for one part of it. It doesn’t matter if you went to college for 12 years studying biology, or 12 years studying theatre, you still earned it. Be afraid of the dark, be afraid of ghosts, but do not ever be afraid to be smart.

Draw a monster. Why is it a monster?” – Janice Lee

4. Be your own biggest fan.

If I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself? Your physical health is important. Your mental health is important. You are important. Wear the lowcut shirt, wear the tight jeans, wing your eyeliner to your ears if you want to. See your own beauty without compliments or your reflection. Love yourself and then others will love you for it. Brag about how you've lost weight. Brag about how you've gained weight. Brag about your high GPA.

5. Who you've been isn't who you have to be.

If you cheated on your ex-boyfriend, if you haven’t talked to your family in years because of a fight you started, if you drove home drunk one night and hit a parked car; understand that you are more than what you have done. If you got in a fist fight in the school parking lot. If you failed 11th grade World History. Move on. You can’t keep dancing with the devil and then wonder why you’re still in hell. Survive, rise above, because the fire inside you burns much brighter than the fire around you. Use your mistakes as lessons. May the bridges you burn light the way.

You are a work of art. The things you have been through just make you more valuable.”

6. You may have made a mistake, but it was worth making.

It’s a brave thing to love someone who doesn’t love you, but at some point, you need to realize that you’re worth being loved back. Heartbreak is inevitable, but realizing you are more than the boy that made you think he loved you is always possible. You are more than a random hook up, and you are more than what the other boys will say about you after they hear about it. You are more than a 2AM drunk call. Your history does not define you. You deserve more than broken promises. Don’t be upset that he prefers roses over daisies. You are an entire garden of your own, and someone someday is going to come along and love every single bit of it.

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