6 Things That I Had to Learn on my Own
Start writing a post

6 Things That I Had to Learn on my Own

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn.

6 Things That I Had to Learn on my Own
Addison Fry

1. You are more than your looks.

As soon as a woman is born, she is hypnotized by society to think her looks are all she is. If you’re a girl with short hair, men won’t find you appealing. Don’t be too tall either, it’s intimidating. Also, have a giant chest and a small waist. Your butt should be big too, but don't have stretch marks. They're disgusting. Have washboard abs, have straight, white teeth, and for the love of God, do not stand out from the rest. Don’t dye your hair. Don’t wear makeup, but don’t go out without it. Your legs better not have stubble. Sit still, look pretty. Smile, but say nothing. Laugh, but not too loudly. If there is one thing society should teach young girls, it’s not to try to be pretty, simply because you weren’t made to be. You were made to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Do not let anyone ever simplify you to just “pretty”.

2. Follow your arrow.

Say what you think. Love whoever you want. If you want to major in art, major in art, no matter how many times your parents roll their eyes. If you like singing, try out for the play, even if your teammates call you Peter Pan. If you like smoking pot every weekend, if you like drawing sunsets, if you like reading books in different languages: do it. Be a Train elephants for a living. Live at home until you're 45. Rescue any stray cat in a ten mile radius. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t, so you might as well be doing whatever you want.

“Do not let anyone ever tell you that you’re a failure. There are planets and stars in your eyes, and there are fires and oceans in your veins. Your head is a meadow, and you are a work of art.”

3. Do not be afraid to speak your mind.

Be married by 25, nice girls should take orders. We are urged to speak out 3. mind, unless it disagrees with someone else. A woman as president? How absurd. Women are far too hormonal, far too emotional, and far too unstable to hold power. Women create life inside them, but yet are still deemed as weak. We don’t need to raise our voice, we need to improve our argument. In ten years, make sure you can say that you chose your life and you didn’t settle for one part of it. It doesn’t matter if you went to college for 12 years studying biology, or 12 years studying theatre, you still earned it. Be afraid of the dark, be afraid of ghosts, but do not ever be afraid to be smart.

Draw a monster. Why is it a monster?” – Janice Lee

4. Be your own biggest fan.

If I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself? Your physical health is important. Your mental health is important. You are important. Wear the lowcut shirt, wear the tight jeans, wing your eyeliner to your ears if you want to. See your own beauty without compliments or your reflection. Love yourself and then others will love you for it. Brag about how you've lost weight. Brag about how you've gained weight. Brag about your high GPA.

5. Who you've been isn't who you have to be.

If you cheated on your ex-boyfriend, if you haven’t talked to your family in years because of a fight you started, if you drove home drunk one night and hit a parked car; understand that you are more than what you have done. If you got in a fist fight in the school parking lot. If you failed 11th grade World History. Move on. You can’t keep dancing with the devil and then wonder why you’re still in hell. Survive, rise above, because the fire inside you burns much brighter than the fire around you. Use your mistakes as lessons. May the bridges you burn light the way.

You are a work of art. The things you have been through just make you more valuable.”

6. You may have made a mistake, but it was worth making.

It’s a brave thing to love someone who doesn’t love you, but at some point, you need to realize that you’re worth being loved back. Heartbreak is inevitable, but realizing you are more than the boy that made you think he loved you is always possible. You are more than a random hook up, and you are more than what the other boys will say about you after they hear about it. You are more than a 2AM drunk call. Your history does not define you. You deserve more than broken promises. Don’t be upset that he prefers roses over daisies. You are an entire garden of your own, and someone someday is going to come along and love every single bit of it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.


The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments