In hindsight, I realize why teenagers often get such a bad reputation. Granted, I’m still considered a teen, but it took me leaving for college to understand that I made a lot of mistakes in terms of my relationships with my parents and my brother while I was at home. Unfortunately, I’ve also realized it’s too late to change the past. Now that I’m at school, there is so much I wish I could fix, and I vow to work on it for all of my future visits home. The thing is, based on my experiences and conversations with my friends, I know I’m not alone. I hope this can reach some people that haven’t left for school yet because they have time to make changes and learn from my mistakes so they don’t have regrets, too. These are all things that I’m sorry for, and that a lot of other teenagers should think about, too.
1. I wish I could take back all of the times I shut my bedroom door.
In all honesty there was no real reason for it. Nine times out of 10 I was in bed watching Netflix because I was too lazy to move to the couch where my family probably was. The closed door sent a message that I didn’t want to be bothered, and I’m sorry that it was closed nearly everyday. I really wish that I could’ve seen it then, but my door almost never needed to be shut. I’m so sorry about all of the little moments I missed out on with my family, because now that I’m so far away at school I would give anything to have those back.
2. I’m sorry for all of the nights I came home a little past curfew and kept my parents up worried about me.
They weren’t upset with me because they felt like it. They were upset because when I didn’t show up when they had asked me to be home by, they started to worry. I’m sorry for all of the times I unnecessarily scared my parents into wondering my whereabouts because I didn’t make it home on time. At school there’s no set time for me to be back by, which also means there isn’t anyone waiting up to make sure I make it safely. In all honesty, it was more comforting to know that, when I got home, my mom or dad would be fighting to keep their eyes open so they could make sure I was safe and sound. It may have been frustrating at the time, but I wish I could’ve known that they weren’t giving me a specific time just because they could. So for everyone who’s still at home, instead of getting frustrated with whatever time your parents tell you, hug them and say OK and do everything in your power to get home, even five minutes before that time.
3. I wish I could’ve seen the bigger picture of putting my brother before my friends or boyfriend. And I’m sorry I didn’t spend more time with him before I left for school.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to have a social life outside of your immediate family, but sometimes it’s way too easy to get wrapped up in it. I fell into the trap of being so overly concerned with whom I’d be seeing on the weekends, that I sometimes forgot to include my younger brother in my plans. I wish I could’ve found a better balance. I wish I hadn’t spent so much time trying to find ways out of the house instead of accepting a night at home. Now, I’m endlessly surrounded by my friends, and I’d be happy with spending even just five minutes with my brother because I miss him so much. There were so many occasions I hung out with my friends doing absolutely nothing that I could’ve easily done the same with him, instead, or, at the very least, included him in my plans. I’m so sorry for not spending more time with him when I could. I’m also sorry that when I was around him, like on the car rides to and from school, I didn’t take advantage of the opportunities to be making memories. I wish I’d let him play his own music on the radio instead of insisting that my playlist be chosen every time. There were many little moments like this that I wish I could take back. If you’re still at home and have the choice of spending time with your siblings, even if you fight, please enjoy every last second that you get with them before you leave.
4. I’m sorry for every time I picked not going out to eat with my family because I felt like I had too much work to do.
Again, I wish I could’ve seen the bigger picture. Yeah, school is important and it’s good that I was motivated to get work done. But was it really necessary for me to blow off my family to do work when I easily could’ve cut out other activities? I considered myself an expert at time management, but now I realize that I should’ve made way more time for my family than I did.
5. I regret every time I chose to take a separate car to a family event so I could escape early because of other plans.
I always felt like I had it so good because my parents were so understanding about figuring out ways for me to see my friends. But now I cringe at the amount of times I rushed out on meals and other outings because I told someone I’d come over at a certain time. I’m sorry for not making my family feel like they were more important.
6. I’m sorry for all of the irrational arguments that I blamed on being stressed about school.
I’m sorry for every snippy comeback and eye roll and groan that resulted from being in a bad mood. In all honesty, I used my family as a target because they were in close proximity, when really it was directed at whatever happened at school that day. It wasn’t fair to them, and I regret every time I had a bad attitude towards any of my family members who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. There’s really no excuse now, and all I can say is I’m sorry.
I urge anyone who hasn’t left for school yet to take all of these into consideration. It’s not too late to make changes before you go. I know my family knows that I love them so much, but it doesn’t change the fact that I have so many regrets with how things went. There’s still time for me, even, to make changes when I’m home for breaks. I’m just glad I realized it at all. Better late than never, right?
