Being LGBT+ is hard for many reasons. But here are some questions/comments that lesbians are asked on a basis far too regular. Some are offensive, some are stupid, some are stereotypical, and some just shouldn't be asked of anyone. So here's some insight into the hard questions lesbians face and why you shouldn't ask them!
1. Do you have a boyfriend?
The easy answer is 'no' but the correct answer is 'I actually have a girlfriend.' This question is hard because I can't always give the real answer. If my friend is asking, sure! I'll tell them I have a girlfriend. If my boss asks, I have to weigh the outcomes and see which answer is safest. If a guy in a bar is asking, sometimes I have to straight up lie and tell them I do have a boyfriend so they'll leave me alone.
2. If you're attracted to girls...why are you dating a girl that looks like a guy?
So here's the thing: sexuality is who you're attracted to sexually. It has nothing to do with outward appearance preference. I like girls because they're GIRLS, not because they have short hair or wear non-gender fitting clothes. If a straight woman is dating a guy with a ponytail, you're not going to question her sexuality, are you?
3. So, like, how does it work?
So like...my sex life is none of your business? Cool. Glad we covered that.
4A. I bet you love Orange Is The New Black!
I understand you're trying to be relatable, but all lesbians don't like OITNB just because it has lesbians on it......But yes, I do love OITNB.
4B. I'd go gay for Ruby Rose!!
You don't "go gay." It's not like "going vegetarian." It isn't a choice. I'm glad you think Ruby Rose is hot (so do I), but why don't you just say she's hot instead of joking about sexual orientation.
5. So I'm guessing you don't want kids?
Of course, I want kids! Being LGBT+ in no way means you don't want a family. Technology has advanced so much and I and my future wife could both have kids if we wanted them. Plus there is also adoption, surrogacy, you name it!! Also, LGBT+ households are not 'worse' or 'lesser' than heterosexual households. Studies have found no harm in same-sex parenting!
6. Do you prefer the term partner, friend, significant other...?
GIRLFRIEND! She's my GIRLFRIEND! It's not a curse word. You can say it out loud and I promise it won't hurt. I actually would prefer if you did call her my girlfriend. It validates my relationship and it helps us be seen as regular people.
I am a huge fan of asking polite and respectful questions over making assumptions. But please do me a favor and ask yourself, "could this be taken offensively?" "is this rude?" "is this crossing the line?" or even "can I google this" and if you answer yes to any of those, please don't ask your question to me or any of your LGBT+ friends! We greatly appreciate it!
