6 Things Lesbians Are Sick And Tired Of Hearing

6 Things Lesbians Are Sick And Tired Of Hearing

3. So, like, how does it work?
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Being LGBT+ is hard for many reasons. But here are some questions/comments that lesbians are asked on a basis far too regular. Some are offensive, some are stupid, some are stereotypical, and some just shouldn't be asked of anyone. So here's some insight into the hard questions lesbians face and why you shouldn't ask them!

1. Do you have a boyfriend?

The easy answer is 'no' but the correct answer is 'I actually have a girlfriend.' This question is hard because I can't always give the real answer. If my friend is asking, sure! I'll tell them I have a girlfriend. If my boss asks, I have to weigh the outcomes and see which answer is safest. If a guy in a bar is asking, sometimes I have to straight up lie and tell them I do have a boyfriend so they'll leave me alone.

2. If you're attracted to girls...why are you dating a girl that looks like a guy?

So here's the thing: sexuality is who you're attracted to sexually. It has nothing to do with outward appearance preference. I like girls because they're GIRLS, not because they have short hair or wear non-gender fitting clothes. If a straight woman is dating a guy with a ponytail, you're not going to question her sexuality, are you?

3. So, like, how does it work?

So like...my sex life is none of your business? Cool. Glad we covered that.

4A. I bet you love Orange Is The New Black!

I understand you're trying to be relatable, but all lesbians don't like OITNB just because it has lesbians on it......But yes, I do love OITNB.

4B. I'd go gay for Ruby Rose!!

You don't "go gay." It's not like "going vegetarian." It isn't a choice. I'm glad you think Ruby Rose is hot (so do I), but why don't you just say she's hot instead of joking about sexual orientation.

5. So I'm guessing you don't want kids?

Of course, I want kids! Being LGBT+ in no way means you don't want a family. Technology has advanced so much and I and my future wife could both have kids if we wanted them. Plus there is also adoption, surrogacy, you name it!! Also, LGBT+ households are not 'worse' or 'lesser' than heterosexual households. Studies have found no harm in same-sex parenting!

6. Do you prefer the term partner, friend, significant other...?

GIRLFRIEND! She's my GIRLFRIEND! It's not a curse word. You can say it out loud and I promise it won't hurt. I actually would prefer if you did call her my girlfriend. It validates my relationship and it helps us be seen as regular people.

I am a huge fan of asking polite and respectful questions over making assumptions. But please do me a favor and ask yourself, "could this be taken offensively?" "is this rude?" "is this crossing the line?" or even "can I google this" and if you answer yes to any of those, please don't ask your question to me or any of your LGBT+ friends! We greatly appreciate it!

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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20 Things That Happen When A Jersey Person Leaves Jersey

Hoagies, pizza, and bagels will never be the same.
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Ah, the "armpit of America." Whether you traveled far for college, moved away, or even just went on vacation--you know these things to be true about leaving New Jersey. It turns out to be quite a unique state, and leaving will definitely take some lifestyle adjustment.

1. You discover an accent you swore you never had.

Suddenly, people start calling you out on your pronunciation of "cawfee," "wooter," "begel," and a lot more words you totally thought you were saying normal.

2. Pork Roll will never exist again.

Say goodbye to the beautiful luxury that is pork roll, egg, and cheese on a bagel. In fact, say goodbye to high-quality breakfast sandwiches completely.

3. Dealing with people who use Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, or Dominos as their go-to pizza.

It's weird learning that a lot of the country considers chain pizza to be good pizza. You're forever wishing you could expose them to a real, local, family-style, Italian-owned pizza shop. It's also a super hard adjustment to not have a pizza place on every single block anymore.

4. You probably encounter people that are genuinely friendly.

Sure Jersey contains its fair share of friendly people, but as a whole, it's a huge difference from somewhere like the South. People will honestly, genuinely smile and converse with strangers, and it takes some time to not find it sketchy.

5. People drive way slower and calmer.

You start to become embarrassed by the road rage that has been implanted in your soul. You'll get cut off, flipped off, and honked at way less. In fact, no one even honks, almost ever.

6. You realize that not everyone lives an hour from the shore.

Being able to wake up and text your friends for a quick beach trip on your day off is a thing of the past. No one should have to live this way.

7. You almost speak a different language.

The lingo and slang used in the Jersey area is... unique. It's totally normal until you leave, but then you find yourself receiving funny looks for your jargon and way fewer people relating to your humor. People don't say "jawn" in place of every noun.

8. Hoagies are never the same.

Or as others would say, "subs." There is nothing even close in comparison.

9. Needing Wawa more than life, and there's no one to relate.

When you complain to your friends about missing Wawa, they have no reaction. Their only response is to ask what it is, but there's no rightful explanation that can capture why it is so much better than just some convenient store.

10. You have to learn to pump gas. Eventually.

After a long period of avoidance and reluctance, I can now pump gas. The days of pulling up, rolling down your window, handing over your card and yelling "Fill it up regular please!" are over. When it's raining or cold, you miss this the most.

11. Your average pace of walking is suddenly very above-average.

Your friends will complain that you're walking too fast - when in reality - that was probably your slow-paced walk. Getting stuck behind painfully slow people is your utmost inconvenience.

12. You're asked about "Jersey Shore" way too often.

No, I don't know Snooki. No, our whole state and shore is not actually like that. We have 130 miles of some of the best beach towns in the country.

13. You can't casually mention NYC without people idealizing some magical, beautiful city.

Someone who has never been there has way too perfect an image of it. The place is quite average and dirty. Don't get me wrong, I love a good NYC day trip as much as the next person, but that's all it is to you... a day trip.

14. The lack of swearing is almost uncomfortable.

Jerseyans are known for their foul mouths, and going somewhere that isn't as aggressive as us is quite a culture adjustment.

15. No more jughandles.

No longer do you have to get in the far right lane to make a left turn.

16. You realize that other states are not nearly as extreme about their North/South division.

We literally consider them two different states. There are constant arguments and debates about it. The only thing that North and South Jersey can agree on is that a "Central Jersey" does not exist.

17. Most places also are not in a war over meat.

"Pork roll" or "taylor ham"... The most famous debate amongst North and South Jersey. It's quite a stupid argument, however, considering it is definitely pork roll.

18. You realize you were spoiled with fresh produce.

After all, it's called the "Garden State" for a reason. Your mouth may water just by thinking about some fresh Jersey corn.

19. You'll regret taking advantage of your proximity to everything.

Super short ride to the beach and a super short ride to Philly or NYC. Why was I ever bored?

20. Lastly, you realize how much pride you actually have in the "armpit of America," even if you claimed to dislike it before.

After all, there aren't many places with quite as much pride. You find yourself defending your state at all necessary moments, even if you never thought that would be the case.

Cover Image Credit: Travel Channel

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Accepting That I Like Women Is My Proudest Accomplishment

You're not supposed to think of soft skin, and ruby lips, and I was.

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I remember being a 12-year-old girl in middle school, who was absolutely terrified to tell anyone that I liked girls. I didn't want to tell my friends. I didn't want my family to ever find out. It was my big secret. It was something that I was so afraid to be judged for, because you're not supposed to be that way, right?

You're not supposed to even think about the same gender in a sexual way. You're not supposed to think of soft skin, and ruby lips, and I was. I was thinking about girls...all the time. I was thinking about the smiles, and the last minute sleepovers, and the intellectual conversations, and the laughs.

My god, the laughs. It just didn't make sense to me. And as I grew older, I couldn't really keep it a secret anymore. I couldn't keep my smile from forming when certain girls walked into the room. I couldn't stop staring when girls would walk away. Even though boys were on my mind as well, in the Forefront of my brain, I couldn't help but imagine myself in a house, with a wife and children, and it was so scary because I couldn't figure out what was "wrong" with me.

Why did I have to be so different? No matter how hard I tried to make the feelings go away, whether it was with mental or physical pain, nothing seemed to work.

I remember being a 12-year-old girl when gay marriage was legalized in New York State.

I remember being a 17-year-old girl in high school when a fellow student called me, and my best friend ' dikes.' I remember being absolutely stunned, and embarrassed. Not only was the statement true, but it had been yelled across the bus as if she was just shouting for my name. This is the moment I had been waiting for. I had been waiting for my entire school career to be judged, and this was it? This is what I was afraid of?

I remember being a 21-year-old woman, when I ran into some people from school, in the gay bar. I remember being a 21-year-old woman when I went to NYC pride and saw a tremendous amount of support. I remember being a 21-year-old woman when I fell in love with another beautiful woman. I remember being a 21-year-old woman when I wasn't afraid anymore.

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