To start off, I’d like to confess that I have an older half-brother, but I grew up as an only child. Being an only child meant that I had my own room and my own bathroom. I didn’t have to share my things or worry about them “being borrowed”. But it also meant that I had a lot of alone time and learned to enjoy a lot of things on my own. I had a great childhood, yes, sometimes it would be nice to have a sister or a brother to play with, but that’s what my friends were for. I was able to go out and spend the day with my friends while still coming home to my own room and my own things. As I grew up, I really enjoyed my time alone. An early teen version of me would just sit in her room on her computer, watching TV or listening to music. If I was upset, there was nobody there to disturb me, which was nice.
Fast forward to spring 2015, I’m searching for my college roommates. This was very stressful for me because I knew I wasn’t used to living with anyone. So many thoughts and questions ran through my mind. After many rough conversations with possible roommates, I was messaged by one girl who was asking if I wanted to join her and someone else to make a triple. I wound up accepting that offer and I love my current roommates.
Being an only child in a college dorm took some adjusting, but I learned six really important things.
1. You're not all going to be on the same schedule:
The first few weeks of school you’ll all figure out what works for you. If you notice that things aren’t working for you the way they are, talk about it. Work out a system so that you can all get to bed when you want or sleep as late as you want without your other roommates not being able to get what they need to do done too.
2. Take your roommate agreement seriously:
You may feel your roommate agreement is being made too early and that none of you are into a daily ritual yet. Try to create as much structure as you can. Make sure if you have your own bathroom to create a cleaning schedule and stick to it. Same goes for cleaning the room, the dust can really sneak up on you. If you know you want to be in bed by 11:00 during the week, right down that all guests must leave by 10:45. You can always allow exceptions to the rules once in a while if all your roommates agree, but it’s better to have the rules and to make exceptions than to not have them at all. If they ever need to be changed you can always go to your RA and tell them you want to edit it.
3. You don't need to do everything with them:
It may seem that it’s just easiest to grab dinner with them because you’re already with them or to get breakfast together every morning before class. There’s no problem with that, but don’t feel like you can’t do anything else. Make friends with people in your classes and then try to go to dinner with them once in a while. Your roommates should understand that you can’t do everything with them. Don’t neglect them completely, but if they can’t understand that you want to switch it up then you need to talk to them.
4. Make time for yourself:
Living with people when you’ve never had to do it before can either be exciting or overwhelming. Make sure to give yourself some time alone. It can be as simple as just listening to music or watching Netflix while your roommates are in class or grabbing some food and bringing it back to your room for yourself. Without time apart, you may find yourself becoming irritable around them and you don’t want to create that environment. If budget allows, go get your nails done, go to the mall, or go find live music performance and just enjoy yourself there.
5. You may not always get along with them:
Things happen and people have bad days. Be sure to not take it out on your roommates. If you’re having roommate problems, just remember if you get along 98% of the time, they still love you and it will blow over. Talk about and work things out. If it gets too bad, an RA can always help to either mediate or if it comes to moving out, they can help with that too.
6. They will take care of you:
I’ve always been used to having my mom take care of me, but in college, she isn’t here. Your roommate will assume the position of mom if need be. A roommate also becomes like a sister you’ve never had. They’ll help you pick out an outfit and accessorize and maybe even let you borrow something. They’ll be there if a boy decides to mess up your life and they’ll be there if you happen to have had a rough night out. They’ll over you food and comfort and anything else you need.
It will be an adjustment for an only child to live with someone, but as long as you are understanding and willing to compromise everything will work out. Remember, it will all be okay.
