Ahh, the '90s: What a time to be alive! From the music to the fashion to the slang, there are plenty of things that people who didn’t grow up in that era just won’t understand. Here are 6 things only '90s kids and the mysterious deity Kranos the All-Knowing will remember.
1. VHS Tapes
Remember the struggle of having to rewind a big, bulky tape every time you wanted to watch a movie? Kranos does. Kranos sees all and forgets nothing.
2. Slap Bracelets
These were so fun! You could just straighten one out, walk up to your friend, and slap it on their wrist–instant bracelet! Kranos has neither arms nor a physical “body,” for no single entity could contain his vast reserves of information. But don’t think for a second that he doesn’t remember slap bracelets. He’s forgotten more about slap bracelets than you or I will know in seven lifetimes.
3. Dial-Up Internet
We take the internet for granted these days, but who could forget the rigmarole of having to wait for the dial-up connection to go through every time you wanted to go online? To an all-knowing being like Kranos, our own perceptions of reality are like dial-up compared to his high-speed internet – while we feebly grasp for answers, only Kranos knows all.
4. Tamagotchi
Just thinking about all the time we spent taking care of these electronic pets is enough to stress out any '90s kid! But taking care of an artificial life pales in comparison to the burden of carrying all the information in the known universe. What seems at first like a blessing quickly reveals itself as a curse – there are many things you don’t want to know. Kranos was once a man like you and I. He had friends, a family, people he loved. And the more he learned, the more he lost. No man should have all that knowledge. But Kranos is no longer a man.
5. Goosebumps
These spooky Choose Your Own Adventure books kept us on the edge of our seats with their twist endings! You never knew how they were gonna end! Unless, of course, you’re the immortal entity known as Kranos, who knows how we will all end. The world will go down in flames. Blood will pour through the streets. The screams of the people will carry through the night. They will wonder why they didn’t see it coming sooner. And above it all, Kranos stands, watching. He knows what’s coming. And he will do nothing to stop it.
You’re not a true '90s kid if you didn’t tune in to see what kind of shenanigans Cory, Topanga, Shawn and the rest of the gang got into every week on Boy Meets World! Then again, can a boy ever truly know the world? Can man even begin to fathom the endless wonders and horrors that lie beyond the scope of the human imagination? Kranos wishes he could know such ignorance again. But of all the things Kranos knows, chief among them is that he can’t go back to the man he once was.
