It happened. That day you never imagined would come. The love of your life, your college sweetheart, your best friend, just dumped you. The majority of us spend the next couple minutes wondering where this could come from. Was it something you did or said? Is there another woman involved? After you realize these questions won't be answered, the depression starts to set in. As women, our next move is to go grab some comfort food (chocolate and cheesy gordita crunch with extra Baja sauce are my choices), and then we sit there crying to depressing music. Adele starts to flood our bedroom.
I think many times we sulk instead of moving on because in the back of our mind we hope maybe he will realize how sad we are. Maybe he will realize he just made the biggest mistake of his life. This will last until about Day 3. This is the day reality finally sets in and you realize he isn’t coming back. This is also the time the hatred and single mindset start to set in.
As women, we are all very complex, intelligent and unique. But we all seem to go through the next six steps stated below as we transition into “the single mindset.”
1. Man hating music.
The hours of sulking to depressing music quickly transitions into downloading Taylor Swift’s recent album and blasting “We Are Never Getting Back Together” on repeat. And if you find out he is flirting with other girls then the track quickly changes to “Bad Blood.” Only the breakup expert Taylor would understand our deep emotional pain.
2. ☐ Single ☐Taken x The Gym
You finally get into a new relationship… his name is “the gym.” This is the “guy” you have been neglecting your whole relationship because who needs a rockin' bod when you had a man who accepted you for your midnight McDonalds runs and Netflix dates. This is the stage where you realize that it is time to shed off the relationship blubber and focus on the single bod.
3. Desperate times come for desperate measures.
This is the lovely stage where you re-download the app Tinder. Yes, ladies, we all hate the app because it is normally filled with creepy vulgar guys you’ll never go on a date with. We all use it as a distraction and a reassurance that other men can be attracted to us and we won't die as a lonely cat woman.
4. Every day is a going out day.
Margarita Monday
Tequila Tuesday
Wine Wednesday
Thirsty Thursday
F*%#$@ Up Friday
Slizzard Saturday
And finally Sloppy Sunday… yes, we want to call it Sunday Funday but after an entire week of constant drinking, the name changes a bit.
5. Frat Hard, Frat Often.
You have spent the last seven events going to your ex’s date parties. Frat Hard, Frat Often is the stage where you finally recognize your new found freedom. Anytime a sorority sister posts on the Facebook page asking if anyone wants to go to the date party, you're always the first one to volunteer. Alpha Sig is going to Vegas? Oh hell yeah!
6. Did you know kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute?
I call this stage kissing the pain away. Let’s be honest ladies. Our mind is our worst enemy. We, of course, assume our ex is out going crazy with every girl. Though this may speak truth for many men at ASU, that doesn’t mean it is true about your ex. It's not a competition, and honestly, you will probably end up getting hurt in the end. As ladies, we are not looking for that one night stand. We are looking for our prince charming and settling for men who don’t see our worth isn't worth your time.
Yes, the majority of us have gone through the stages above once or twice. If you have gone through these steps then you realize how exhausting this “recently single mindset” is to your body, mind, and soul. My opinion is, screw these steps and take the next step of loving yourself. Yes go out, have fun and meet boys but do it for the right reason. Your ex isn’t worth the whiskey!
