Music has always been something I have held close to my heart. I have been a musician since I was in kindergarten, and I have been taught to allow music to carry away my problems. This being said, it is no surprise that as I grew older, I turned to music when my problems grew bigger. Music just flows in my blood, and I love that. It has been through Hell and back with me... literally. And on this journey, I have picked up some songs that have helped me figure out who I am as a person, and that have related to me and given me a new purpose in life. They remind me to keep going.
1. "Believe in Me" by Demi Lovato
I credit Demi for a lot. She fought her own battles, which is evident in both her songwriting as well as her voice when you listen to her music. "Believe in Me" still brings me to tears at times when I'm most vulnerable. When I reached 6 months in recovery from my eating disorder, I got my favorite line tattooed on my wrist... "Now I believe in me."
2. “Sunrise, Sunset” by Bright Eyes
This song just speaks the truth. It talks about the cycle of life, and the cycle of emotion. The entire song is basically a collection of metaphors that stand for being manic/depressed. Everyone goes through good and bad times. This song is a reminder that every sunset will end in sunrise. There's going to be brighter days. No matter how dark things get, the cycle will always bring back the light.
3. "Let it Be" by The Beatles
I learned this song when I was seven years old in the back seat of my mothers minivan. My grandmother, whom I was very close to, was dying and my mom played this song on repeat, often due to my request. Even at the age of seven, music spoke to me. "There will be an answer, let it be." It gave me a sense of peace. This song gave me the feeling that even with death, my grandmother would always be with me. That no matter the situation, I would find peace. My mom and I continued to listen to this song after my grandma died, and to this day, I listen to "Let it Be" and think of her. It still brings me peace.
4. “Beautiful” by Bethany Dillon
I’ve always wanted to feel beautiful, and Bethany Dillon definitely understands the desire of wanting to make people look at you see your beauty. Just the feeling of someone understanding how I feel motivates me to want to try harder and work towards my goals. I fell in love with this song the second I heard it. Not only is it an overall uplifting song that most girls can relate to, but the peaceful melody and Dillon's soothing voice has always been able to calm me down on nights where I couldn’t fall asleep.
5. “Clean” by Taylor Swift
My freshman year of college I got into a terrible car accident where I should have lost my life. At the same time, I was battling severe bulimia. After the accident, I realized that I could have and should have died, and if I had, I would have died miserable and hating myself. I didn’t want to die miserable. I played this song on repeat and it taught me that things were going to get worse before they get better, but I could get clean. No matter how long you go without your habit, doesn’t mean you aren’t going to miss it. And thats okay. Its about the strength inside of you. This song helped guide me through the recovery process of my eating disorder. I am proudly 8 months into my recovery.
6. “Icarus” by Sirah
Senior year of High School, we learned about Icarus and his moment of hubris… flying too close to the sun, though he was warned not to. His wings ended up melting off, and he fell to his death. This song is about addiction, and how people really lose themselves to drugs or alcohol or really any form of addiction. I have had many run ins with addiction, as it runs in my family- no matter how much you beg someone to clean themselves up, unless they want to do it themselves, you cannot force them to. The theme of addiction really touched my heart because it hit so close to home.
