When you are in love with someone, you tend to overlook their flaws and the faults in the relationship. You make excuses for them and pretend that everything is wonderful when there actually might be something very wrong. Don't get me wrong, being in love is an amazing experience, but sometimes it has a blinding effect. You may be in an unhealthy relationship but choose to believe that this is not a possibility because you are blinded by love. Here are some signs that your relationship might be unhealthy.
1. They need to constantly be informed
Does your partner want to constantly know where you are? Do they need to updated constantly on what you are doing? Do they get upset when you do not get back to them right away? Although wanting to know if your partner is safe is perfectly fine, if your significant other is constantly hassling you about where you are and what you are doing, then there is certainly a problem. This could signify a lack of trust in the relationship.
2. They can become TOO jealous
Do they become upset when you talk to someone of their gender, even if it is school-related or just casual conversation? Do you find you have lost all of the friends your partner might have felt threatened by? There is such a thing as a normal amount of jealousy, especially when someone seems to be getting chummy with your main squeeze. However, if your partner freaks out whenever you have a normal conversation with someone of the same gender as them, then that is a bit too much. You should never have to lose friends because of your significant other either, especially due to jealousy.
3. Lack of respect, especially during arguments
Arguments tend to make both people act out of their usual character. You may throw an F-bomb at your partner or something worse. However, this should only be in the most extreme of cases, if at all. Respect should exist in all cases. If you are constantly calling your partner a b*tch or an a**hole or vice versa, then there is no respect in your relationship. I have a horrible temper, but I always avoid cussing at my boyfriend because no matter how upset I am, that is just extremely rude. If I do cuss, I feel horrible afterwards. Respect needs to be apparent in any relationship (romantic, familial, or a friendship).
4. Lack of trust
This goes hand in hand with you or your partner being overly jealous. If you do not feel a sense of security when your partner goes out or is not with you, then there is something missing. If you feel the need to check their phone constantly to know that they are not doing something suspicious, then you do not trust them. Trust is one of the most, if not the most, essential component of a relationship. If you do not feel comfortable when your partner goes out or if you feel the need to check their phone every time they get a text, then this relationship WILL NOT work out.
5. Abuse
This may seem like an obvious sign of an unhealthy relationship, but there are multiple types of abuse. Although physical abuse is commonly seen as a sign that a person should leave, most will not. I knew someone who was yanked by the arm by their partner and had to go see the doctor for the injury, claimed they were leaving and never going back, but is still with the person today (two years later). That same person has been punched in the face by their partner and is still with them. If you find that your partner is hitting you or you are hitting your partner, the relationship should be put to an end (please seek help if you are experiencing any form of domestic abuse).
You can also be emotionally abused. In two of my relationships, I experienced emotional abuse. I was always being put down and being made fun of when my partner was upset at me. Whenever, I was upset at them for anything, they made me feel as if I were the one with the problem, that I was the one who needed to stay. It took me two years to realize that he was the one with the problem and that the relationship needed to end. Emotional abuse is hard to recognize, however; you need to pay attention to the negative emotions that your partner makes you experience. If you feel that you are experiencing more negative emotions than positive emotions, then it is time to let your love go.
6. Everyone close to you is telling you to let them go
If people who know you better than you know yourself are telling you that this is not the person for you, then they most likely are not. Whether you are closer to your family or your friends, if either party finds something seriously wrong with your relationship, then you should probably break up with them. They are not blinded by love and can recognize these unhealthy signs a lot better than you can.
At the end of the day, however, it is up to YOU to recognize these signs. Everyone can sit there and tell you that your relationship is unhealthy, but if you do not recognize the signs yourself, nothing will change. If you are happily in love in a healthy relationship, I could not be more happy for you. But if this is not the case, I hope this article helps to put your relationship into perspective.
