Shrouded in makeup and mystery, Pennywise is seen in many different lights. Some see a murderous psychopath. Others see a cunning painted sewer rat. Some don't even see him at all (parents are useless in the horror genre).

This fear-gobbling jester is under a lot of scrutiny because of a few unfortunate accidents that occurred in the highly vulnerable town of Derry where children have a tendency to "disappear."

The truth about Pennywise is that he has numerous traits that make up the ideal babysitter. Sure, his reputation is lousy and he might not come highly recommended, but if he were to turn his life around, he could be a positive figure for the children of Derry--and here's why:

1. He's a reliable lifeguard.

Pennywise is obsessed with the floating of children. If given guardian credentials, it's fair to say that no child in Derry would ever sink.

2. He doesn't discriminate and loves all children equally.

It doesn't matter to Pennywise who a child is, he treats them all equally.

Are you an orphaned goat executioner? A chunky poet who loves "New Kids On The Block"? A stuttering older sibling to a one-armed brother? A flute-fearing follower of Judaism? A falsely accused floozy of a ginger? A spectacled big-mouth pre-pubescent with ADD? A smothered victim of the "Gazebo Effect"?

All children are invited to the Pennywise bonanza.

3. He's got a strong intuition.

Pennywise knows kids--deep down to their very core. He's well-informed on their darkest fears which means he will always know how and when to provide comfort.

4. He has excessive patience.

If it means stepping away to take a break from the craziness of life, Pennywise is willing to wait up to 27 years for the right moment--the moment when the children need him most.

5. He's punctual.

With access to the sewer systems of Derry, Pennywise knows how to get around. You can always count on him to be on time. Not to mention, he will be able to transport your children all over town with ease.

6. He's an advocate for Anti-bullying.

Is your child a part of the Losers Club? Does your child come home after school with the initials of their tormentor carved on their body? Drop these details to Pennywise and the school bully will most likely be ripped to shreds, burnt to a crisp, or subject to another highly wicked form of slaughter.

It's difficult for a parent to decide who they want to take care of their children while they are away. At the very minimum, they want someone with those special character traits that show they can be trusted. Pennywise has all of that and so much more. Being an inter-dimensional hell-being is tough but with a little dose of a child's eternal soul, those like Pennywise just might make it in this deranged circus we call life.