1. “We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are” - Anaïs Nin.
Anaïs Nin’s writing has always spoken to me. She seems to utter the unspeakable—the words others are too afraid to say. In this way, she is brave. She tells the stories no one else wants to tell. The quote above demonstrates this powerful characteristic of hers perfectly. While we may not want to face the reality that we are, in fact, subjective viewers and always bring our own cards to the table, it’s an undeniable truth. We don’t see things as they are. We don’t see a situation for what it is, completely objectively, unattached with no emotion. Instead, our eyes are constantly colored by ourselves—our own histories, stories, relationships, lives. We see things as we are. Perhaps, this is a blessing. Though it may be desirable to see things from a removed perspective, we, as humans, are not wired that way. Nor should we be. We need to feel; we need to think; we need to be.
2. “For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again” - F. Scott Fitzgerald (?).
I’ve seen this quote over and over again; some even debate that it wasn’t written by F. Scott Fitzgerald himself. Regardless of who said or wrote it, these words carry immense meaning. Whoever said this was right: it’s never too late to start. It is never too late to become who we want to be, to change our lives, to decide we deserve more than what we are settling for. Life presents us with tons and tons of opportunities, and we are often told that these opportunities may never present themselves again—that the time to live is now, before things get lost in the shuffle. While I am a firm believer of living in the now, I also believe that life is more generous that we often give it credit for. The package may not look the same; the offer may not be identical to its predecessor, but every day you wake up, you get a new beginning. A clean slate. A chance to start over. And no one dictates that for you. That is the beauty of it: you decide for yourself who you are, and what kind of life it is going to be.
3. “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it an love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal” - Cheryl Strayed.
While reading Cheryl Strayed’s "Tiny Beautiful Things," I could not help but furiously annotate and highlight. Her words were so poignant; they resonated with me (and others, I’m sure) so deeply. There were times her book go me angry—parts where I wanted to challenge Strayed herself and tell her, “You’re wrong. You’re so wrong.” But the more I got to thinking, the further I reading, the older I grew each day, the sooner I realized it was me who was wrong. I didn't want to believe that there was no quick, lasting remedy for suffering. I didn't want to believe this was what my life was. As I continued on, both as a reader and thinker, I came to realize that this was not, in fact, what Strayed was saying. She was not saying that life is made for suffering, only that it is, at points, inevitable. She was not saying that suffering cannot be helped, cannot be mediated, only that there are no easy solutions. She was not presenting the ugly reality I had wanted to ignore for so long. Instead, she was conveying the raw truth that suffering sucks, but we are wired to endure it. We are strong enough to survive it. And it is us who gets through the struggle—no one does it for us. We build our own bridge; we come to our own rescue.
4. “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places” - Ernest Hemingway.
As someone who often feels “broken” or “damaged,” this quote has always stuck with me. Dealing with depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder has not been easy. Had you asked me a coupe of months ago if it had broken me, I would have said yes. Today, though, I have a different answer. It has not broken me. It has fractured me. It has cracked me open, so that I can rethink and reinvent myself—become the person I was truly meant to be. It has opened me to healing, to truth, to reality. And as Hemingway said, these cracks—these fractures—have allowed the process of healing, the beaming light within me, to come to fruition.
5. “Not everything has to have a point. Some things just are” - Judy Blume.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been an over-thinker and over-analyzer. I used to, and continue to, think that every single thing had a meaning. Nothing could simply just exist. I’m sure my English and Psychology classes didn’t help this, either. I grew to be obsessed with thinking of all the ways things could pan out, all the reasons why things were they were, and all the possibilities for how things could have been. As I’m sure you can imagine, this drove me crazy. Until I came across this Judy Blume quote, it never even occurred to me that somethings can just be. There doesn't have to be a reason or an explanation for everything. Realizing that is crucial, for it leads to acceptance: acceptance that some things just are.
6. “There is a fine balance between honoring the past and losing yourself in it. For example, you can acknowledge and learn from mistakes you made, and then move on and refocus on the now. It is called forgiving yourself” - Eckhart Tolle.
Though I’ve yet to read Tolle, I’ve heard wonderful things about his writing. After a friend recommended I look into his texts for this article, I stumbled upon this quote. It struck a chord within me. For a long time, I toiled in the past. I lost myself in it. I thought my past was me: that I was my past; I was what had happened to me. I thought ignoring that, forgetting my past, would erase it all. Surely, it would be a charade. And how long could I hold that up? Reading this quote, however, makes me rethink this all. What if I can acknowledge that the past happened while simultaneously letting go of it? What if I can hold onto the past without letting it consume me? Maybe doing this would allow me to propel into the future, to contain myself as a whole person—past, present, future, and all—and finally forgive myself. After all, isn't that the thing I’ve been searching for all along?
