“Who knew your first promotion would involve booze sweetie.” That’s what my mom said once I was done telling her I had been ‘promoted’ at the bar I was working at to head bartender. I never knew there was a ladder to be ambitious about and climb up. After all, I am just pouring drinks for people but there is a science to it. Being a bar tender has been one of my most favorite jobs but it has also taught me a lot about people and who we are. So, here are 6 life lessons from a bar tender.
1. We’ll tell strangers anything.
Blame it on having a few too many but we will tell strangers anything. Her boyfriend cheated on this person and this guy has a fake toe. Whether it be from family drama, the troubles of life, or just good ol’ juicy drama, we want to tell strangers anything. Maybe it’s comforting to know the information you are spewing out of your mouth is hitting the ears of a complete stranger who just made you a Long Island Ice Tea.
2. We want to look like we have more friends than we do.
In almost all of my shifts there is one person who wants to know my story. He will ask where I am from and I will impress him by answering a small town in Colorado. A few more questions will ensue, usually about pot or skiing, and then he will walk away. A few moments later he will come back with a gaggle of his friends. He’ll call me by a nickname he made up and tell his group where I am from as if we have been best friends since before I was legally able to serve them drinks. I always play along. We all want to look better than we do when we have our group around and by looking like you know someone outside your group is exactly how to do it.
3. We all want special treatment.
Everyone thinks they are the exception to the rules. “It’s 6:45, can we still get happy hour?” or my absolute favorite “The third shot is on the house right?”. While we are all very special and deserve to be treated the very best, we all assume the rules set in place do not apply to us.
4. We all want an escape.
This isn’t so much the speaking part but rather how much people will drink in front of you. I always know who they are. She comes in, asks for a mixed drink but insists “I’m only having one tonight. I have stuff to do tomorrow.” Fast forward and she is there an hour past close and I know every boyfriend she has had and what her college years were like. We want an excuse to have a break from our reality. For some it’s with alcohol, for others it could be a long walk or a talk with a close friend.
5. We’re afraid to try new things.
People, especially the veterans of the bar, will come in and ask all the questions about the new beer on tap or about a new mixed drink. After many minutes of explaining all the imported rums or hops used in the drink, you think you have sold them on the drink. Then they go to order and it ends up being the same drink they have gotten the past month. People fear what they do not know and go back to what they understand. Newness is scary, unpredictable, and may leave you with a wicked hang over. We don’t like to test the waters and we prefer to stay on the sandy beach.
6. We just want to be listened to.
The movies don’t lie when it shows the half drunken hero or villain confiding in their bar tender. They seek some sort of wisdom and direction of what to do and most of the time the bar tender delivers a monologue of inspiring words which changed the whole course of the hero’s life. Well, I don’t know about that last part, but all we want is for someone to listen to us without judgement. We want to get all that weight off our chest and say whatever we want. It’s a gift when someone really listens to you and it is so rare to come by. Maybe that’s why there are so many people at the bar? 
