I've had my fair share of experiences with an unhealthy relationship. What 19-year-old hasn't? You were used. You used someone. They didn't care about you like they said. You fell out of love, but stayed around in fear of hurting them. Unhealthy relationships are awful, but the lessons we learn from them help us realize what we deserve with the next person so here's a few things I've learned from my experiences with unhealthy relationships.
1. Leave the first time you feel unwelcome.
I'm not saying call things off the first time your significant other says they can't hang out so you feel that sinking feeling from being told no. Leave when they constantly make you feel like they don't want you around. You deserve to feel wanted and if they can't give you that, then they don't deserve you.
2. Just because (s)he said (s)he changed, doesn't mean (s)he really did.
This has been the one that has burned me over and over. Actions are so much more important than words. Unless they can really prove to you that they have changed, you don't have much of a reason to believe that things will really be different this time around.
3. If you think you deserve better, you do.
If you're constantly worrying that you deserve better than what you're receiving please listen to that little voice. You deserve the absolute best in this world. If someone makes you question whether or not that's what you're getting then it's time to go after what you deserve.
4. You don't have to go running back every time something else falls through.
Just because they always happen to pop back up when the next relationship doesn't work out, doesn't mean you have to run back to them. They're taking advantage of you. Once you realize that, you'll stop going back when the outcome is going to be the same.
5. If your friends are concerned, you probably should be too.
Your friends care about you obviously. Otherwise they wouldn't be your friends. If they're worried that you're getting used or that the person your with has bad intentions then take a step back and really evaluate the situation. They wouldn't say it just to make you mad.
6. Your feelings matter too.
Do not let someone belittle you to the point that you feel like your feelings are worthless. You have to put yourself first and if someone won't let you do that, then you need to rethink if you should really be with them. Never let someone tell you that you're feelings aren't important.
