Summer has come and while some of us are stuck inside, frantically seeking full time employment so we don't end up living at home for the rest of our lives, others are planning fun getaways. As a member of the former, I would love to offer my suggestions for dream vacations that I won't get to go on this summer. Now these destinations aren't all chosen for the same reason, they each have their own unique reasons for being on this list, so I hope you aren't thrown off by the variety. Each and every one of these choices is a great destination for your summer break.

1. Antarctica

Whether you're looking to escape the summer heat, or just miss how you look in your winter coat, Antarctica is the place for you! Activities are endless. Everything from cosplaying characters from John Carpenter's "The Thing," to searching for Poe and Lovecraft's giant penguins, the sky is the limit when you visit this year round winter wonderland.

2. Fraser Island, Australia

Look at that beautiful beech. Pearly white sand, clear blue water, does it get nicer than that? And the best part about Fraser Island? You'll most likely have the beach all to yourself. See due to warnings about snakes, spiders, jellyfish, and dingoes, that might actually eat your baby, most people probably won't be so keen on Fraser Island as a vacation destination. That means if you don't mind dodging poisonous creatures and wild dogs, you'll get this big beautiful beach all to yourself. Let's see Sandals offer you a deal like that.

3. Chernobyl, Ukraine

Here's another great destination if you're looking for some privacy. Ever wanted to cuddle with your significant other at the top of a Ferris Wheel but not have to worry about the usual carnival crowd? Well you can sure find that here in Chernobyl. And hey, no line! So grab your hazmat suit and scale your way up the side of that sucker, just make sure you don't tear a hole in your suit. If you ask me, that's a lot better deal than having to pay some dirty carny twenty bucks while he tries to look down the front of your dress. But make sure you get on this trip soon, the site should only be a threat for about another 3,000 years. Then you know it's just going to be swarming with people.

4. Chicago, Illinois

Now in case you couldn't tell from the tone of this article, or most of the other ones I've written, I have issues with conveying genuine emotions towards things. Which makes it all the more significant when I say, I really do love Chicago. It's the city I pretend to be from when I'm out of town, and have enough knowledge about to back that lie up when people question me. So why should you visit Chicago? Well, it's the perfect place to try that something new you probably always wanted to do, but wasn't sure if you could. Completely off topic but did you know last year (2015), there were 472 homicides in Chicago, and that police only solved 26 percent of them? That means that close to three out of four times if someone killed another person, they got away with it. So like I said, come to Chicago, try something new. You'll probably get away with it. Go Hawks!

5. Anywhere in Venezuela

There's a lot of reasons why you should go see Venezuela. One of the main reasons is that you can see the waterfall from "Up," and you can do it on the cheap due to black market exchange rates severely devaluing the country's currency. But the number one reason to visit Venezuela is for a once in a life time thrill ride, the likes of which you've most likely never had before. See, a lot of people are paying good money to experience being kidnapped for a day. But that service is pricey and doesn't last very long. The last reported statistics from Venezuela show 2,000 kidnappings annually, and they haven't reported statistics since 2005 which I would bet means things haven't improved greatly since. Now a lot of these kidnappings are of locals, but that's because visiting business people travel with armed guards. Go there, wear fancy clothes and flash some cash and you'll probably get the kidnapping experience of a lifetime. And for free! Plus it'll probably last way longer than a day, in face you may never be found again. Talk about exciting.

6. Your Own Home

So I guess I lied starting off this list, because here's a destination I will get to go to. In fact, it's where I'm writing from now. Yes, I know not everyone's home looks like that picture. For example in my house the couches actually face the TV, you know, so you can watch it. The point is, maybe you can't afford huge getaway, maybe you don't have the time, or maybe you just want to relax for once. Well home is a great place to just do nothing and enjoy it. You can watch movies, hang out with friends, and masturbate pretty much whenever you want to. It's a magical place. Also, the chances of being murdered, kidnapped, horribly irradiated, eaten by dingoes (or very ambitious spiders), and driven mad by existential horrors the likes of which you've never seen, are much lower than these other places.