My husband is incredible, and I can't imagine a greater adventure than being married to him. That being said, I do wish someone had sat down and explained his glorious personality to me so I would know what I was getting into. So whether you've found your person or are still on the lookout, I hope these six things will help if that somebody has wallflower tendencies.
1. An introvert won't always want to go out with you.
I am always up for a field trip! And anyone else who loves being around people and doing stuff can relate. Sitting around the house for too long gets boring to me pretty quickly, but Jed doesn't necessarily like going and doing with me all the time. Whether it's the mall or the movies or just the grocery store, most of the time he'd rather stay at home because all those things I like bore him. Just get ready for lots of solo shopping trips.
2. An introvert is easily misunderstood.
Every once in a while, my husband will make a remark about the car or my clothes or my choice in food, and because he is so serious, I don't forget it. So that one thing he said about one shirt in my closet that he didn't like gets applied to all of the clothes I have ever bought in my entire life. I have not bought clothes, house decor, etc. all because I misinterpreted something he said two years ago. Take it from me, and just listen with a grain of salt, and remember that what is said in the moment doesn't count tomorrow.
3. An introvert won't get excited like you do.
Christina is me. All the time. About everything. And while I am doing backflips and screaming at the top of my lungs, Jed stands there, his hands in his pockets, smiling. I used to get so offended that he wasn't excited when I got excited, but that was another misinterpretation on my part. While he doesn't jump or shout, he gets excited, too. He just shows it differently than I do.
4. An introvert doesn't want to hang out with your friends all the time.
While us extroverts can usually hop from lunch table to lunch table and not think twice, most introverts are a little more picky about their friends. It isn't that they are antisocial, cranky, or people-haters. They simply pick their friends and stick with them. So don't be offended when your significant other doesn't follow you as you mingle with the crowd; it's just not how they do friendships.
5. An introvert will not talk as much as you do - even when you ask them to.
While I could talk ninety miles a minute for most of the day, Jed simply doesn't have as much to say as I do - and that is okay. And to be honest, sometimes we need to stop so that they can be heard. So go ahead and tell the thirty-minute story about the bird you almost ran over this morning. Then ask them about their day. And when they give you the thirty-second answer, be content with it.
6. An introvert's deep thoughts can be extremely intimidating.
I am not dumb. In fact, I like to think I am fairly bright. But the second my husband opens his mouth with a thought he has been mulling over for three days, my stomach drops. I feel like the glassy-eyed kid in the corner with a cone hat, unable to respond with anything other than duh-erh. The reality is that neither of us is smarter, it's just that things are interpreted in our minds differently. We can both be looking at something shiny, and where I will respond like a four-year-old (Ooh, glitter!), he might respond like a well-mannered Englishman (That looks much too expensive for our modest home, Nora, my dear).
Wherever your person lands on the personality scale, don't let the differences scare you. We are all wonderfully unique, and learning how to work in spite of our many differences is such a beautiful thing. So be patient, work out your kinks, and trust me on the solo shopping.
