As an avid fan and student at IU, myself, as well as 40,000 other Hoosiers, have a strong hatred towards the other B1G school in the state of Indiana. We don’t want to hear any more about your engineering school and what even is a boilermaker? In fact, I can think of at least 51 things I would rather do than go to school in West Lafayette. Here are just a few of them. Boiler Down.

1. Step on 12 Legos
2. Put on a damp swim suit
3. Burn my tongue on hot chocolate
4. Eat only salad the rest of my life
5. Have my belly button ring ripped out
6. Drink orange juice after brushing my teeth
7. Stub all 10 of my toes
8. Take an ice-cold shower with low water pressure
9. Listen to nails being scraped on a chalkboard
10. Watch Derek Shepherd’s death scene on repeat
11. Get stuck in an elevator with my ex-boyfriend
12. Find a hair in my Subway sandwich
13. Drink spoiled milk
14. Never eat Portillo’s again
15. Fall on my face in front of my crush
16. Break both of my arms
17. Grow a unibrow
18. Lose both of my two front teeth
19. Only wear the color orange for the rest of my life
20. Run out of toilet paper every time I went to the bathroom
21. Hit my ankle with a razor scooter
22. Get sunburn on my entire body, including my eyelids
23. Be a Packer fan
24. Retake finite math
25. Never take a nap again the rest of my life
26. Sleep with sand in my sheets
27. Gain 400 pounds
28. Eat pineapples on my pizza
29. Have a 10-hour plane ride in between a crying baby and someone sleeping on my shoulder
30. Get bitten by a shark
31. Listen to “Gangnam Style” for 24 hours straight
32. Eat a gallon of mustard
33. Get my tongue stuck to a flagpole
34. Get sneezed on by an old man
35. Have permanent bad breath
36. Dye my hair neon green
37. Take a punch in the face from Mike Tyson
38. Get stung by 56 bees at once
39. Read the entire dictionary word for word
40. Never be able to watch Netflix again
41. Step on broken glass
42. Trip on a treadmill
43. Make every day a bad hair day
44. Spill red wine on my wedding dress
45. Swallow a worm
46. Get lost in a foreign country
47. Sleep on my front lawn in the pouring rain
48. Get a flat tire on the highway
49. Eat the insides of a pumpkin
50. Work for hours on a paper due at 11:59 and have it deleted at 11:58
51. Not go away to school

Needless to say, I would be willing to do a lot of things but none of those things consist of attending Purdue. Let’s go Hooooosiers!