Love is infinitely complex. It’s confusing and amazing all at once. It brings the best moments in life along with the worst. It’s sometimes impossible to define the word love. In today’s society we overuse it so much that it has lost most of its value. We love that shirt. We love that show on Netflix. We love each other. It’s always good to love to the fullest extent, but we should be cautious about how often we use the word.
In my experience, there is no word more powerful and significant to describe the way you feel about someone than “love”. First you’re interested someone, then you like them, then you love them. There is no next step, that’s it, you’ve arrived at that final feeling on the scale. By using “love” for mundane things like shirts and shows, we devalue it when we use it with the people that we really do love. I am as guilty as the next college girl, I regularly use love for things that I only sort of like. This makes it all too easy to tell someone that you love them when it’s not completely true.
Telling someone that you love them should be a big deal. If it’s big enough that people will go running if it’s said too early, it’s big enough to spend some time thinking about using the word. Love is a commitment, in both romantic relationships and friendships. It’s become commonplace to say “I love you” as a substitute for “goodbye”. Many people my age are caught up in the idea that you never know which “I love you” will be the last. The problem with that mentality occurs when people are just saying it because they think they should rather than because they mean it. Bottom line, say what you mean and mean what you say.
I know that this is coming off as someone bitter at the world and at love, but I promise that that isn’t the case. I have a habit of falling fast and loving hard, with boyfriends and with friends. The timing of love is always unexpected and there is no real timestamp on when it’s okay to say those three words. That being said, saying it too early can cut a relationship off too soon or make someone uncomfortable. Before you say it, make sure that that is what you truly mean. If you don’t mean it and the other person does, you’re just going to slowly break their heart. Never feel pressure to say it back if you don’t mean it; if that person really does love you, they will understand.
In no way do I mean that we should love less. Look around. If anything, the world needs more love now than ever. Love with your whole mind, your whole body, your whole heart and make sure that when it comes time to say “I love you”, you mean it with every fiber of your being.
