I never thought that I would be one of those kids that had to decide which parent I wanted to live with. Never did I think that I would have to have multiple holiday gatherings, or spending one night at one parent's house, then the other's another. Never did I think that I would have step parents or step siblings. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for every path that I have been on and the lessons it has taught me, but never did I expect I would be that kid.

Everyone has a different story about why their parents chose to end their marriage and the only idea of family they knew. Mine was because of an affair that tore my family apart when I was in high school, but I have many friends that their parents were just unhappy or when they were younger.

Being older when the divorce happened, I learned a lot about my parent's marriage that I never realized happened and probably would not have known if I were younger. I got pulled between my parents as they struggled to get along for the sake of me and my sisters.

Through my parents divorcing, my sisters and I grew a lot closer. We relied on each other much more because no one knew what our pain was except for each other. We could talk about things that other people did not understand. I will always be thankful for the divorce and the affair because of how my relationship with my sisters increased. They are so important in my life now that I cannot keep anything from them.

I matured a lot as well. I began to rely on myself because everything I knew as a constant consistently changed. I questioned my childhood. I questioned what I thought marriage should look like. My relationships with boys changed because I had a hard time trusting that I would never be hurt by them. I questioned boys' intentions. Commitment was an idea that seemed nonexistent.

Now, I still have my guard up because many boys my age are scared of commitment and/or have no intention of growing relationships. My parents' marriage was one that many people looked up to, so seeing that fall to pieces was eye opening. Therefore, I'm hesitant. Hesitant of letting someone in and giving them the opportunity to pull something great apart.

But I know one thing. I know that I will find someone worth risking all of that for. Who will win my heart and hopefully be my forever. Someone who will break my walls and show me that love is worth it, even though it is hard to see it sometimes. Someone who will show me it can work out, even though it didn't work that way with my own parents.