With all of the stress that comes with the end of the semester, I have a lot of trouble staying calm. My anxiety worsens with my workload and honestly, I feel scarily overwhelmed. Counting down every lecture, every assignment and every term paper, it might seem to help, but it often reminds me of the unequal ratio of how little time I have for how much I must get done. My pulse rises, my breath quickens and soon enough another panic attack breaks out. Crawling into a hole never seemed like such a viable option until the close of the term.
But in this fight for my GPA, I must also fight for my well-being. It would be unethical and unhealthy to constantly be in a state of frantic panic over something, even if I’m going to be indebted to it for the remainder of my life: my education. Fellow students, we must remain calm. But how? Our culture is constantly moving, one too many deep breaths and you’ve fallen behind society’s race to be the busiest. It’s not just college, it’s our whole society. American culture needs to be busy, so busy that I can’t keep up.
There is this one tranquil moment that runs through my mind. This moment in Italy last summer where I simply sat on the patio of a cafe. The morning sun was bright, already warming the earth. The cobblestone streets were not yet filled, but the market tents promised that the crowd wasn't far away. Poseidon also was near, he made his presence known even though the shore was a couple blocks off. The salty air battled my cappuccino's sweetness. The delicate coffee cup kissed my jetlagged lips awake. The sun was shining onto the citrus orchard around the corner, and when the wind blew you could smell the lemons' zest.
Everything in the world was right. There was nothing due. There was nothing expected. There was no schedule. There was only my cappuccino and me.
I want to live like that every day of my life. No, it’s unrealistic to not have a schedule of sorts and as a college student, there will always be an assignment or fifty due at once. But to take a moment to just be, that is how I want to live. Overwhelmed millennials often turn to sex, drugs and alcohol to feel alive. We all want an experience, right? Our culture has created a sense of entitlement to life, but that just isn’t so. Is simply living not experience enough? Is sitting under the Italian sun, counting heartbeats not experience enough?
I want to experience peace. I want to experience tranquility. But in this world, how could I? I go to bed tired and I am tired when I wake up. I fall asleep worrying about my schedule and my alarm screams, “You’ve much to do!” There’s never time to simply be, to just exist in a society of business.
I crave that seaside cappuccino. I need to remain calm.
