Bonnie and Clyde: A Toxic Love Not To Be Romanticized

Bonnie and Clyde: A Toxic Love Not To Be Romanticized

Stop romanticizing them.
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Chances are, you've heard their names. Very few of you might know actual rumors about who they were and what they did — and even less know the facts behind the legend of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow.

They are frequently referenced in pop culture for being the ideal romance (a Depression-era "OTP", if you will), but so many things are wrong with that picture. They were not a couple of crazy kids in love. They were not just a pair of lovers that got into a little bit of trouble with the law. They were a prime example of a toxic relationship.

Pictured above with her husband (yes, husband), Roy Thornton, Bonnie Parker met Clyde when she was 19. All throughout their tryst, she was a married woman. Though she and Roy had been separated for several months, they never got divorced. Bonnie died still wearing his wedding ring.

Many people say victims of toxic and/or abusive relationships tend to fall into them repeatedly. This was likely the case with Bonnie and Roy — and then Bonnie and Clyde. Roy was a criminal, like Clyde, who had physically abusive tendencies. He left Bonnie alone for periods of time until finally, it was too much, and their paths never crossed again.

Documented by Blanche Barrow, Clyde's sister-in-law (and fellow member of the Barrow Gang), were several physical fights between the couple. For example: "[Clyde] knocked [Bonnie] across the bedroom a couple of times but she got up and went back for more." Blanche also noted, "[Bonnie and Clyde] loved one another too much to live without each other." Their passionate love did little to erase the physical abuse, however.

Before Clyde, Bonnie never showed an affinity towards crime. She had always been an upstanding citizen. While in school, she was bright and well-behaved. All she wanted was to be an actress or a writer, but her fate allowed little time for either profession. Likely, Clyde persuaded the smitten Bonnie to join him and leave her mother, whom she loved dearly. They did visit Dallas occasionally, it's true, but if he loved her as much as she loved him, he would respect her closeness with her mother. Limiting interaction with family is a sign of an abusive relationship.

From Jay Z to Warren Beatty to Broadway, this infamous pair is constantly made to be a romantic ideal. Young and sexy, they passionately loved each other — but they were not something for a couple to aspire to be. Like Harley Quinn and the Joker, they were wild and in love, but not at all healthy in their romance.


Cover Image Credit: A member of the Barrow Gang

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

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When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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You've Heard Of 'How To Be Single,' But Let's Talk About 'How To Be Romantic'

For some of us, it takes work to be cutesy and romantic.

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Okay, I'm probably the least romantic person anyone has ever met. Not to say that I'm a bad girlfriend or that I'm not caring. I just find love in simple things like knowing what to order for them at restaurants, doing their laundry, planning unique dates, or cooking for them. It's not that I'm opposed to being arduous, I've just never been a chocolate and flowers kind of girl. I'm more of a Mongolian hot pot and "let's walk across the Brooklyn Bridge!" kind of girl. I appreciate some effort, tailoring something to fit a person's idiosyncratic personality or general spontaneity, not how flowery something looks. Not saying that I'm not feminine, I'm just my own entity, so to speak, and that translates into my love life. Needless to say, I thought I should learn how the other half lives, so I've challenged myself to take a course on being a classic/hopeless romantic just to understand how others think and who knows I might change some of my habits!

1. Leave notes

I think it's a really cute and simple idea that I will try to do because it makes everything very personal.

2. Write them a poem

I've had this done for me but I've never actually done it, because believe it or not, I didn't like to read or write poems up until this year.

3. Cuddling

Okay, so I'm not a cuddler, I have no idea why — it's more or less a personal space and attachment issue, I guess. I love hugs though! I guess I just have to be in the mood to cuddle and at times I can be. Other times it just makes me nervous.

4. Dedicate a song to them on the radio

It seems like the people on the radio that do this are crazy in love and honestly, to be able to have the ability to go on the radio and just declare your love for someone else is really inspiring.

5. Surprise them!

I personally cannot stand surprises, but I love to surprise other people and just be spontaneous, so I sort of do this already.

6. Carve your names into a tree

I've thought about doing this, but I've never got around to it, so I promise one day I will.

7. Go see a romantic movie

Nope, nope, I'll barf! Not happening, strictly horror movies for this girl, sorry!

8. Make them a care package

See, this makes me think a lot about what really defines romantic, because I do this all the time, but I don't consider it romantic, I just think it's sweet.

9. Take a walk on the beach together

I've done this, but I have to be doing this while looking for seashells or I feel like I'll be bored.

10. Make a CD for them

"THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER," CHARLIE IS QUAKING.

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