Have you ever hung around someone, liked them so much, caught feelings, felt like it could actually go somewhere and then it didn't? That is called "we almost dated," and after that it gets really complicated.

Yes, we never officially dated. The words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" never came out of our mouths. But you did treat me like so. You took me on dates, paid for my movies though I begged you not to. You bought me salted caramel ice cream because you knew it was my favorite. You did all these things because you knew I would love it, but it's too bad you did not really care.

You were the boy that would call me late at night, to talk, ask me how my day was and tell me all these things that you love about me. You would giggle and say, "Your hair is so pretty, and your smile, it is gorgeous, and I wish you would smile more." And as you told me all those things, you could hear me smile through the phone.

Though we did this almost every night, we never did what real couples did. You never met my friends, even though I knew all of yours. You were never seen with me. I felt like you were ashamed of me. You never ate lunch with me; it was like school was the one place we were never allowed to see each other. I never understood it, but I was happy—you made me happy.

When we were alone, you pulled me close and whispered sweet things to me. You told me that you loved me. As you laid with me, pulling me closer, I could feel your heartbeat pounding so quickly and all of a sudden it slowed, as you calmed and kissed my head and told me you loved me more and more—but still we never officially dated.

Then all of a sudden, I felt ghosted—you left me. All the feelings never left, but you did. Seeing you across campus and not being able to come up to you to hug and kiss you is one of the worst feelings I have ever had to experienced. You made me feel like I was the only girl to ever make you feel that way.

Sometimes, late at night, I think of ways I could possibly make me better, make you better, make us better. Too bad we will never be what I wanted us to be—we will never be the official couple that I wanted.

I will never understand why you did what you did to me. My last question for you is why did you let me see those other girls? Why did you let me see those couple-like pictures that we used to take together—the kissing pictures, the arms wrapped around her? Why I am tortured to see those pictures? Why couldn't I just get an apology?

I'm sorry.