50 Things I Would Rather Do Than Find Parking | The Odyssey Online
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50 Things I Would Rather Do Than Find Parking

Sadly, these are all true.

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50 Things I Would Rather Do Than Find Parking
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Student parking is myth. No matter what campus you're on, what school's colors you happen to be sporting, or sadly, how early you get to campus, finding a parking spot is like finding a needle in a haystack. So, here's a list of all the things I would rather do than drive around the same parking lots for hours looking for a spot:

1. Never get a WiFi signal again.

2. Be a fraternity pledge for the rest of my life.

3. Wear underwear made from a cactus.

4. Wear khakis for the rest of my life.

5. Watch live birth videos for 24 hours straight.

6. Sport Donald Trump's awful spray tan.

7. Throw myself down a flight of stairs.

8. Never have another Christmas.

9. Wear a parka in the middle of an Alabama summer.

10. Never know the love of a dog.

11. Churn my own butter.

12. Text with a flip phone for a week.13. Spill hot coffee on myself.

14. Vote for Hillary Clinton.

15. Gain 600 pounds.

16. Get lost in space.

17. Cut my own hair with a chainsaw.

18. Only be able to go to Chick Fil A on Sundays.

19. Cancel my Netflix subscription.

20. Perform cardiac surgery on myself.

21. Fall passionately in love with a speed bump.

22. Spend the night alone in the Amazon.

23. Drive a moped across country.

24. Wear crocs for every occasion.

25. Be on a no-carb diet.

26. Only be able to drive in reverse.

27. Listen to the Cha Cha Slide on repeat for a week.

28. Be pecked to death by chickens.

29. Only watch the commercials on TV.

30. Burn my dynamic collection of Nike shorts.

31. Never find money on the ground (even lucky pennies).

32. Wear two pairs of Spanx every day.

33. Eat leftover food from the dining hall.

34. Snort Crystal Light.

35. Sleep on the floor of a bar.

36. Step in a massive pile of dog poo.

37. Teach Bruce Jenner how to wear a tampon.

38. Drop all my plates in the middle of a crowded restaurant.

39. Try out for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

40. Only use 1-ply toilet paper.

41. Use a rolling backpack around campus.

42. Bring tube tops back.

43. Lose all my luggage on a flight to a foreign country.

44. Have 1,000 clown figurines stare at me while I sleep.

45. Sleep through all of my finals.

46. Drink tap water in Mexico.

47. Accidentally delete a 2,000-word essay.

48. Get mugged.

49. Have Moe's close at 9pm every day.

50. Streak through the quad at noon.

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