The average human being spends 229,961 hours of their life sleeping assuming that they get eight hours of sleep a night. Why not a little less time being horizontal and more time being an adventurous midnight goblin? The universe unwinds at night and becomes more intriguing as your daytime noggin becomes less rational and embraces the endless possibilities that occur between the hours of 9PM and 9 AM. Whether you’re in procrastinating work, unable to sleep, or simply wanting to mosey around there are always great things to do instead of sleeping.

1. Climb roofs.
2. Have eight hour partially incoherent conversations on said roofs.
3. Hike in the foothills.
4. Stargaze.
5. Watch the sunrise at 3 AM.
6. Drive on the left side of the road and feel the thrill of breaking the law.
7. Have an influx of brilliant ideas.
8. Write in a caffeinated haze.
9. Realize that you are a LITERARY GENIUS.
10. Come to the realization that you are sadly not, eight hours later.
11. Read every article published in The Onion for the past two years.
12. Realize that Tim Kaine is gold.
13. Read Tim Kaine’s entire Wikipedia page. .
14. Read Hillary Clinton’s entire Wikipedia page.
15. Be even more overwhelmed by the prospect of her presidency.
16. Spend several hours defending her on Facebook.
17. Underestimate the stupidity of ignorant, misogynistic noobs.
18. Go on a Wikipedia rampage, reading articles ranging from Pussy Riot to George H.W vomiting incident to Putin and MK Ultra.
19. Wonder why the world is so corrupt.
20. Realize how few people really care about this.
21. Wonder what President Obama is doing right now.
22. Wonder how Bo Obama is doing.
23. Research his sleep habits.
24. Feel better about your own.
25. Tell yourself that you will get to bed at a reasonable hour tomorrow night.
26. Realize that the term “reasonable hour” is a fluid one.
27. End up going to bed at 3 AM. Again.
28. Discover a band that makes your socks go up and down.
29. Listen to every single song that this band has made.
30. Spend several hours listening to music and making playlists.
31. Psychoanalyze yourself.
32. Psychoanalyze everyone around you.
33. Think about your personal set of morals and ethics.
34. Feel pretty okay about them.
35. Analyze your life.
36. Become convinced that everything is going to inevitably fail.
37. Experience a small existential crisis.
38. Clean your entire room.
39. Do laundry..
40. Fold laundry.
41. Organize your clothes by color.
42. Go running.
43. Drink a ton of water.
44. Vomit a little in your mouth.
45. Regret everything.
46. Lie down in a water coma.
47. Try to fall asleep.
48. End up overthinking everything again.
49. Tell brain to calm down.
50. Have a sleep.