When the first 50 Shades of Grey book was released in 2011, I wasn't allowed to read it. My oldest sister and even my grandmother read it before I did. When I finally got around to reading it, the film was in the works, and I knew I needed to read it before it hit theaters. Let me just say this: I was not impressed.

The plot was awful. The writing was awful. Everything about it was awful. I hated how quick everything seemed to progress, from Ana first meeting Christian to their first time having sex. I hated Ana's character, her personality, her thought process- really, just her.

The idea that a god-like creature such as Christian Grey himself could fall for the blandest and most average looking woman, Anastasia Steele, was just mind-blowing. It was almost as painful as Bella from Twilight landing the vampire-equivalent of Christian Grey, with all that unnecessary teen-angst thrown in.

Then there's the sex. As erotic and sensual as it may seem, most of it sounded painful, impractical, and almost unnecessary. Jump forward to the second and third installments, 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed, and it's the same thing over and over again.

Christian and Ana need to seek marriage counseling and therapy immediately. From the very beginning of their relationship and sex contract to their marriage, Christian is nothing but a controlling and possessive sex freak. At first, readers and viewers alike are somewhat overwhelmed by Christian's ways. With the contract that he encourages Ana to sign which makes her his sex slave (or his submissive), to freezing Ana's employer's bank accounts to prevent her from going on a business trip, to his argument about Ana going out for a drink with her best friend, Christian has taken the concept of being a control freak to a new level.

The only way to fix all of their problems and resolve their arguments is with sex, of course, because no good ever came from sitting down and talking it out. As fun as it may seem to screw until you're no longer upset at one another, it does not fix the underlying issues. Anytime Ana and Christian have an argument or a disagreement or are even involved in a car chase, they have sex. Never soft, sweet, passionate sex. It's always insanely hardcore and never seems practical.

Multiple articles have discussed the verbiage that E.L. James used, such as using the word "there" to describe the location where Ana felt her sensations and the language that Christian used to speak to Ana. Some articles have gone so far as to compare Mr. Grey to a serial killer ( here and here ). I didn't come across anything remotely romantic or passionate that wasn't so heavily burdened by his dark, twisted, and often ominous tone.

Those that skipped reading the books and went straight to the films only saw the so-called steamy sex scenes filled with Anastasia's breathy calling of Christian's name. They were able to look past E.L. James' poor writing style and lack of character development, while those of us that suffered through all three books cannot forget the abomination of a "modern-day romance" full of BDSM that is the 50 Shades of Grey franchise. What a tragedy.

"Laters, baby."