50 Non-Academic Things You Learn In College
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50 Non-Academic Things You Learn In College

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

50 Non-Academic Things You Learn In College
Rocky Mountain Collegian

1. When addressing professors, use the correct title of "Doctor" or feel their wrath.

2. Go to events if you want free food. Or free shirts.

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3. The majority of Netflix watchers are using someone else’s account.

4. You’re more likely to be questioned for wearing nice clothes to class than you are for wearing pajamas.

5. Googling a question and finding the whole online Quizlet is a beautiful thing.

6. If the choice is comfy or cute, comfy is the way to go.

7. We all try to hush our breathing so no one will notice how much we struggled climbing the stairs.

8. It is perfectly acceptable to wear the same clothes numerous times before washing.

9. Pulling an all-nighter is a perfected art.

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10. You can fall asleep anywhere if you try hard enough.

11. After freshman year, many of us decide to retire that skimpy Halloween costume.

12. Once you get used to college, it is preferable to going home.

13. SAVE YOUR WORK. And then, save again.

14. Procrastination is not smart, but in what other stage of your life will you have the chance to all the seasons of Grey’s Anatomy in 24 hours?

15. Finals week is the week the majority of us goof off the most.

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Tacky sweater party even though I have ten papers due next week? I’m so there.

16. Calling your mother every day is now acceptable, even if it is only to tell her absolutely nothing.

17. Everyone seems to fall in love with the same song all at the same time.

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18. Your professors secretly convene and plan all of their due dates at the same time.

19. You lose all fear when it comes to jaywalking.

20. There is a reason your parents always separated the laundry by colors.

21. You can actually participate in class without reading the assigned reading.

22. Everyone’s resume makes them sound a lot more impressive than they really are.

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23. For the first time in your life, you are surrounded by people the same age as you. There are literally no adults to be found. Anywhere.

24. If there is a pool of water that is sacred for your school, you should definitely jump in said pool of water.

25. Everyone considers dropping out at some point in their college career.

26. Nothing sets us all into a frenzy quite like the word “cumulative final.”

27. Smart kids read the book. Sane kids read the SparkNotes.

28. I can’t get ready for class in ten minutes? Challenge accepted.

29. College campuses have the bravest squirrels ever.

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30. You don’t wash your sheets or vacuum nearly as often as you should.

31. It is totally possible to pass a foreign language class and be unable to speak a word of it.

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32. Colds spread like the plague.

33. Yes, we all use Wikipedia.

34. And no, you should not advertise that fact to your professors.

35. Technology has this lovely way of failing when you need it the most.

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36. Showering regularly is not mandatory.

37. The number one rule to dry shampoo: you can look grey or you can look greasy. You cannot, however, do both.

38. Having friends in high places, such as the Parking Ticket office, comes in handy.

39. There ain’t no diet like the college diet.

40. Therefore, opening up the fridge doors when you go home for break is like opening up the doors to the Promised Land.

41. No one, and I mean no one, does anything productive over the break.

42. Name three words that are better than “Class is cancelled.” I’ll wait.

43. We are all ballin’ on a budget.

44. Yes, we know the pools are nasty at pool parties. Yes, we will still jump in.

45. You lose all athletic ability after you leave high school. We are all just a bunch of try-hards now.

46. Group projects are the most stressful endeavor you will undertake.

47. No matter our differences, the one thing that unites us all is our communal love for Crank That Soulja Boy.

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48. If you don’t change your major at least twice, you aren’t doing college right.

49. No one knows what they are doing.

50. Though college is an emotional roller coaster, no one really wants to leave.

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