While we are still flying high from St. Nick's recent traditional B&E crime wave, the year draws to a close with a final celebration that usually involves giving in to every bad habit, negative practice, and morally wrong doing--many of us live the last day of the year as if it were the last of our lives. Sure, New Years parties are primarily known for their epic last-minute delirium of liquor guzzling antics but much more is going through our heads during the festivities.
The next day hangover fills you with crippling remorse but also practical self-help ideas. There's no where to go but up this year and we start to feel a sharp pressure rising in our chest called opportunity. This is the reason behind our resolutions, we see only opportunity. We plan to make the New Year the most personally fulfilling one of our lives...or as my sister says we plan to rip the weave off of 2017. Sadly, another tradition that follows this initial stage of the year is falling back into our old patterns of behavior and though we mean well, we often fail. Here are some resolutions you will make but probably won't keep:
1. Change your diet
You've spent the previous night binge drinking and chances are you've consumed some pretty unhealthy food. If it's not already scattered outside some bar or someones back yard, you're probably feeling some pretty motivational stomach pains. If only greasy food wasn't the cure to hangovers...
2. Start a new workout routine
Last year you had a gym membership, went three times, and at the moment you can do only 6 push-ups. Can you imagine if you stuck to a strict workout routine for all of last year? Well time to start strong on the first day of the year...that is if you can get off of the couch.
3. Learn an instrument
Remember the glory days back in school when you were in the school band? Okay so that was awful and didn't help you as a human and playing ACDC on a brass instrument isn't nearly as hardcore as you thought it was. Now as an adult you have a lot to gain from learning an instrument. It helps strengthen your already slowly deteriorating mind. It shows you can learn a skill and girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. Learning an instrument also gives you a chance to establish a new friend group and possibly start a band where you can spend some time being creative and wearing sunglasses indoors. The problem with this resolution is that it takes hard work and most people don't like to fall on their faces which is what eighty percent of learning an instrument entails.
4. Save money
Your bank account might be empty but it can't be any emptier than your passion to have money. Having money is great, you can buy things with it that you really need. It's important to have money to do a lot of things so this resolution is probably on the forefront of your mind. Don't be tempted by things you don't need like electronics, trinkets or doo-dads. All you need is food, water, books and the glory will come when you save enough for a car so you can just drive away from your problems.
5. Decrease Netflix intake
This is impossible, don't try this, stop being a moron.
All of these resolutions are possible to achieve but there's a high chance they won't happen. A year is a long time and we have thousands of other daily concerns that make it difficult to change ourselves. Maybe it's better to step away from expectations and outcomes and focus on our actions and behavior. Live in a new day not a new year, maybe you won't feel as pressured trying to countdown to a new person in 365 days. Everyone is motivated differently and although this article may not do it for you, be motivated for the right reasons and don't beat yourself up if you fail because sometimes you have to fail a hundred times to succeed once.
