5 Ways You've Never Seen Disney Princesses And Probably Would Never Want To
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

5 Ways You've Never Seen Disney Princesses And Probably Would Never Want To

Like Belle, except with arm hair.

45
5 Ways You've Never Seen Disney Princesses And Probably Would Never Want To
Amelia B.

Disney princesses are my childhood. Their musical whims and soothing voices provided comfort to my younger self. And I am not ashamed to admit that my afternoons were filled with alluring princes and dazzling balls; I would fantasize about my own happy ending, waiting for my own fairy godmother.

Today, the princesses still remain as symbols of femininity. However, as old mindsets are challenged and archaic beliefs cast aside, Disney has started to become more inclusive. We finally had a black princess in 2009, nine decades after the inception of the company and over half a century after Snow White, the first Disney Princess, debuted. We also now have a protagonist whose plot does not revolve around a dashing Prince Charming. As Disney is (slowly) breaking traditional molds of patriarchy, the characters have become much more relatable. Along with this, a now stale and trite trend has emerged: using Disney Princesses as vehicles for apprising the public of social justice issues.

It was innovative at first. After all, who would have even imagined that anyone would attack and take advantage of these beautiful, mostly-white sweethearts? That they don't need to be thin to be beautiful? That even the royalty have basic human needs?

That said, Huffpost and Buzzfeed have started a disturbing fad of parading around poorly-photoshopped disney princesses as posterchilds for every single God-damn issue known to mankind. It has become so excessive that these "real-life represenations" have become more bemusing (and entertaining) than informative. It's not about making a statement anymore. It's about making something.

These listicles have subsequently become a source of satire (at least, I really, really hope that they're satire... actually I can't even tell at this point). And now, I want to share with everyone some of the ridiculousness I have encountered.


1. Jasmine with a Machine Gun

Now we can ponder the meaning of life as we have Jasmine wielding a motherf**king machine gun as a "realistic" representation of her adult life (actually, I'm not even sure if that's a machine gun or a rifle). But If this isn't enough, Belle's addicted to plastic surgery, Rapunzel has cancer, and Snow White's a dissastisfied suburban mom.


2. Rocks. They're all rocks.

Or maybe we can imagine them as rocks. I actually adore this one. The attention to detail is amazing.


3. Make-up makes all the difference

We can now collectively shed tears as we tragically realize that Ariel's lips don't match her hair anymore.


4. If they had a genetic disease that made them gain weight uncontrollably but also they still loved themselves for who they are and that's what's important at the end of the day

And now, I present to you, art:


5. Ew body hair.

Honestly society (read: patriarchy) has forced a lot of women to meet some cruel and unattainable beauty standards. There are a number of videos illustrating full-grown men writhing in pain over a Brazilian wax. But smudging over someone else's artwork with charcoal and pencil isn't how you show appreciation to the creators nor is it how you raise awareness.


At the end of the day, some remain as effective forms of amusement while the others make you wonder whether you have descended so low as to procrastinate by watching listicles of bruised, hairy, obese princesses. Perhaps we should pay more attention to the faces of the 13 black transwomen killed this year, or the hundreds of civilians killed by police, or the ever-strong prison industrial complex instead of obsessing over a unibrowed Rapunzel and a moustached Belle.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

82639
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

50041
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

982888
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments