How many of us have flirted with the thought of spending our lives with someone? How many of us have even shared that thought with our significant other? And more importantly, what is it about that person that makes us bear that thought? A Lifetime commitment can be scary, no matter who you are. But you can be safe in your choice of a spouse when your love runs bone deep, where just the sight of who your with sinks from your eyes to your bones with symphonic grace. Likewise, many times relationships don't work out, causing many to venture through curiosities of what that person did wrong or, even so, what they themselves did wrong. Then comes the biggest question that everyone asks themselves but never publicizes: How do I know when I've found "the one"? To me, there are five key pieces that determine when you've found your soulmate. Some may surprise you, others may be common sense. Nevertheless, here are the 5 ways to know when you've found "the one".
5. Chemistry
A common but overlooked piece of importance. Chemistry, in and of itself, just means getting along and meshing without issue. Do you both laugh easily together, is your company together natural, is there a true and authentic care between the two of you? This along with much else, however I believe chemistry is a self-explaining subject for any relationship, so I would assume it's very easy to understand. Chemistry also means certain points of your lives match up, such as your faith and your desire (or lack thereof) for children. Such important foundations in life are non-negotiable, to no ones fault.
4. Compromise
This may be the one that can stem through the entire list. This is an absolute requirement. No relationship/marriage is ever going to be perfect, however there must be a drive for perfection. What I mean by that is this: there will always be disagreements. Are you able to take the one you love by the hand when things become tense and say "I love you" with no hesitation? Can you bring yourself to sit with him/her and seek a peaceful resolve instead of stand with your feet in the sand and refuse to budge? Many people find compromise to be a weakness, when in fact in fact it reveals exuberant strength. For one to humble themselves and accept the differences between the two, and to stare the person they love in the eyes and love them unconditionally despite the arguments, speaks to the depth of true love that's had.
3. Honesty
I know many of you are probably thinking I'm out of my mind not making this the number one reason, but you'll see why shortly. Being absolutely honest with the one you love is imperative. Lack of honesty means lack of love, plain and simple. Now, no one's perfect. No one ever will be, but there are people who are perfect for others not by perfection of personality or action, but by chemistry and compromise and honesty. When you make a mistake, or commit an offense no matter how severe, don't hide it. Admit it, open up to it, own up to it and grow. Tell the person you love, "Hey listen, I made a mistake and I'm sorry". The keys to true love, amongst other things, is forgiving your partner for what he/she has done. Allowing the maturity to saturate their heart and supporting them through their learning curve. A couple is meant to support each other when one or the other is weak. Strength is found in unity, not disunity. And the key to true unity is honesty and forgiveness.
2. They See Your Heart
This is where the generic ways fall off course. One of the greatest injustices I see in relationships is how people will condition their relationships based on disagreements. Now, let's be real here, there will always be disagreements. Some couples may have more disagreements than others, but that doesn't mean the relationship won't work. What the relationship needs is the character between the two to understand and resolve the differences (essentially tying in chemistry, compromise and honesty). When that special someone sees your heart, and knows the person you are deep down, that's where true commitment begins. It'a not about "oh we disagree too much, it's not gonna work", or "why can't he/she just understand already". As I mentioned, certain things should and need to fall in place such as faith. But love is unconditional. To see past all the disagreements and issues and to know who you're with, to understand his/her value and what he/she means to you, is what matters. When the person you love sees your heart and makes that effort, that's when you know they're worth it.
1. Willingness to Wait
To me, there is no greater profession of love than one's willingness to wait. This is the point that ties in the previous four that have been mentioned. Now, this is not to say that someone should make you wait seven years to finally get married, but we as humans are complex being and relationships should never have time limits put on them. We must all learn about the man/woman we're with and learn what he/she is like and become familiar with the personality traits and the small tidbits of quality in who they are. Clearly there are some relationships that are not meant to be, and that happens to everyone. But let's say for example the man that a woman is with isn't financially stable and fears failing the woman, or say the man asks his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage and he denies him, what do you do? Do you end the relationship because it will take too long, or break it off because the parents said no? What about on the woman's part? Let's say her boyfriends father doesn't like her, or lets say she travels a lot and isn't home as often as she'd like to be. There are a plethora of things that could come up and could delay furthering the relationship. My point to this is that the only thing that could truly derail or delay the relationship is one's lack of commitment. When you find that person, that man or woman that you fall head over heels for, and feel that love set itself within your heart, there is nothing that could hold anyone back. And when that special someone comes to you, stares you dead in the eyes and says, "I don't care how hard it is or how long it takes, I don't care how much we disagree, I'm not leaving you", then you know you've found the one. They're willing to fight through hell, til death do you part, to be with you. They see your heart, they love the man/woman you are and cherish it and they're not willing to sacrifice a life with you. They're not afraid to admit when they falter and bring themselves to you uncovered and true with a heart of apology. They're willing to take you by the hand and work out whatever differences, no matter how small or great, because they know the character between the two of you is stronger than any difference or difficulty that may come your way.
These are my five key points one knowing when you've found your soulmate. As mentioned, some points are generic, others aren't. I hope this has shed some light, in some perspective, on where the strength of a relationship is found, and if one thing is certain, it will always be a two way road, and nothing will every hold anyone back from knowing who they spend their life with if they're truly driven to find that special someone.
