1. You taught me to laugh.
I can’t even begin to count the number of times I found myself consumed with anger or sadness, ready to lash out, ready to give up and you made me laugh to the point of tears in order to forget the way I had been feeling. I find this to be one of the biggest lessons learned through the years; don’t take life too seriously. Learning to laugh when you want to cry or scream is the most powerful tool someone can have.
2. I saw what a girl deserves.
I watched from a distance and saw the effort you put into picking out Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, anything that mattered to the girl in your life. I saw you when you would come home from multiple Thanksgiving’s and Christmases, exhausted, full from multiple meals because she wanted you to be a part of her family’s traditions as well. I saw you spread yourself thin over and over again just to make someone happy. This showed me countless times that I deserve effort, but most importantly time. I deserve someone who wants to not only be with me but someone who will do what it takes to show up for me.
3. You taught me to have thick skin.
Now this one is one I am reluctant to say, but thank you [sort of] for bickering with me all these years. The world isn’t a kind place more often than not and had I not learned how to stand back up when someone pushed me down or even challenged me, I would have already given up in my studies, with my friends, in so many aspects of my life just because things got hard.
4. I saw you struggle.
Too many times our society expects men to be strong, not sensitive, rocks as if they don’t feel anything at all. I saw you love, I saw you care, but I also saw the hurt you felt at times. Now that I am getting older and finding myself in more meaningful relationships, I find myself being more attentive and loving than I would have without seeing how deeply you could feel. Men can love and care without being weak.
5. You showed me that I am enough.
Last but not least is the best one yet. Thank you for scaring off the boys who ran when it got difficult. Thank you for pointing out their bad intentions long before I would have ever realized them for myself. Thank you for knowing what I deserved before I ever did and constantly to this day, reminding me. The society that I grew up in encouraged girls like me to settle and to search for validation in ways I knew you would have never allowed. Because of you the mistakes that I made growing up were so much less damaging than the ones my friends did, simply because they lacked an older brother’s guidance, his love.
I may not always show how much I appreciate having you in my life, but I truly wouldn’t be the person I am without you. Love you, big brother.
