With Uber being my primary mode of transportation, outside of weather permitted bike rides, the psychology major in me has had a field day while using it. It’s hard not to notice the trends and common flaws between rides. Narrowing them down into five simple categories, I decided to compile a list of my personal favorite types of Uber drivers:
1. Wants That Tip
This is the guy who gets out of the car- a little too aggressively- to open the door for you. Inside is revealed a tip jar his daughter decorated rigged to what used to be a phone stand off his dashboard. The backseat is filled with water bottles. He makes a point to turn the music down as low as possible so you can still hear it, and attempts to make small talk without ever saying anything.
2. Do It For The Kicks
Here is where the creeps circle in. These are the drivers that usually brag about some outstanding fiasco they saw from some drunk rider last week, including too many details about women fawning over them. The stories sound made up. You didn’t ask. When you make the decision to avoid discussing your personal life with the driver who asks a few too many questions, the ride is painfully awkward. Punishment for you not supplying into his nightly entertainment.
3. The Family Man
All he talks about is his son’s military acceptance and how his 14 year old never stops asking for things. Hence this job to “help pull some weight.” He avoids talking about anything else.
4. Phone a Friend
Not one of my least favorites, but certainly not my first, is the driver who always has somebody passenger seat. Sure, having a stranger sit beside you is awkward, but this couple doesn’t save me from an uncomfortable experience. The two, usually passenger seat, either asks a question, finds an inside joke from my reply that sends them into a conversation that lasts after I leave unnoticed, or they ignore me entirely.
5. The Ghost Rider
A self-driving car. Cutting edge of technology in a 2012 Sentra. Peaceful. Forgettable. The best Uber driver I’ve ever had.
