As a barista, I get to meet and interact with a lot of people on the daily. Sometimes you get some really standout customers, but most encounters go the same way, and you end up dealing with a lot of the same kinds of customers. Here are the 5 types of customers you'll end up serving coffee to (or maybe serving anything to if you work in food service!).
The Clueless Nincompoop
What are they doing here? Why did they show up? They don't know the difference between a latte or an Americano, but they'll pretend they do and order something that is whatever combination of 'coffee' sounding words they think sounds best. “One triple mocha cappuccino, iced, extra macchiato, no foam please” or “I didn't know a frappe was blended... I wanted that hot” or other such horrible utterances will haunt your dreams forever.
The 'Late for Work'
Can you feel the stress radiating from them? Don't bother with the pleasantries because those are just wasting precious seconds on their fast and furious commute. 9/10 times they won't say anything back anyway, they have to save their breath for talking at work. Just keep your mouth closed and make the coffee, and maybe they won't snap at you.
The Hungover Mess
You can't serve anything in a college town without running into a handful of these, especially on weekends. They show up tired, half dead, and in desperate need of caffeine. They don't care what you make them as long as it takes the edge of their headache and gets them ready for another booze cruise later. They can be great tippers, especially if you make jokes about hangovers.
The Regulars
“Good morning Carol! How's your dog Ziggy? I see you got a haircut! Here's your usual latte.” Creepy? Maybe a little, but these are the customers you see day in and day out. They come and order the same thing every day and it would be kind of weird if you didn't know their name and a little bit of their life story. However, sometimes you get regulars who you don't particularly like, and seeing them every day and being nice is just another small miracle you perform.
The Chatterbox
I love when customers make small talk with me, it makes the part of my job where I'm supposed to talk to you so much easier. But sometimes you get the people who don't stop at small talk, and they will linger at the cashpoint and tell you every excruciating detail of their divorce or all about their dogs nonstop bouts of diarrhea or how they hate their boss because of this, that, etc. Sorry, I'm only paid to make coffee, not counsel.
