I'm pretty much the most accident-prone person in the universe. I have "almost died" so many times in my life that it's ridiculous. Making mistakes and becoming injured are pretty terrible while they're happening, but the good things about being a total clutz is that I have some awesome stories to tell my kids. I know I'm not the only person in the world who can fall up the stairs or trip over nonexistent objects, so I made a list of some universal truths for all of us clumsy people:

1. White T-Shirts Are a No-Go
When I was in elementary school, we got t-shirts for literally every activity we ever did. Going to the zoo? Matching t-shirts. 100th day of school? You better call up the local sporting goods store, because they're going to be screen-printing until their arms fall off. While having all these shirts brings back fun memories, the stains on the white shirts I had to wear back then made me sigh. Why? Because I can vividly remember my mom telling me "don't you get anything on your shirt" every time I left the house, and within minutes of either eating, going outside, or being within 50 feet of art supplies, I'd have something on my white shirt. 99 percent of the time, I would not remember where the stain even came from once I got home. I stain the heck out of my white clothing to this day, but I keep a Tide To-Go pen with me at all times. Thank God for technological advances, am I right?

2. You Were Best Friends With the School Nurse
Nurse Lisa and I got super close in elementary school. As a matter of fact, we were so close that the school was inclined to have her on the same bus as me during the 5th-grade class trip to Williamsburg and Washington, D.C. This woman took care of the rest of the school, but I definitely helped keep her days interesting. I went to her when I fell down the concrete stairs in front of the school and even though I was hurting, she made me feel like I was cool because she said I looked like a mummy from all the gauze she had me wrapped with. God had to have blessed her with the patience of an angel for all the times she had put up with my accidents. If you ever see your elementary/middle school nurse in public, hug him or her and say thank you. They put up with a lot of stuff to help you with your boo-boos.

3. You Have Really Cool Scars
In the 5th grade, I still played basketball and soccer, but I wasn't what one would call a "phenomenal," "great," or even "good" athlete. All my friends played sports, so I wanted to play too. I vividly remember the night of that season's second game where I had my "career-ending" injury that prevented me from playing for most of the season. This brutal accident happened in the parking lot about ten minutes before we were to take the court. I was making my merry way into the gym, and about 10 feet from the door, I tripped and busted my knee open. The injury seemed awful at the time, and I did have to keep it elevated and wrapped up for a while, but I wasn't necessarily upset about being hurt. I didn't really want to play anyway, and once it healed, my teammates were always like "Woah look at Allie's scar!" I was popular for like two weeks and it was awesome. If you were clumsy as a kid, you had other cool scars too. I even have a blue freckle on my right hand from where some kid stabbed me with a pencil. Oh, elementary school...

4. Recess and P.E. Were Nightmares
As I previously mentioned, I was not a fan of any type of physical activity for multiple reasons, but the main reason why I loathed being active was because of the potential to injure myself. I rarely used the jungle gym because I didn't want to risk falling, I didn't hang out under the trees with the "cool kids" because I didn't want to get stung by a bee like so many other kids did, and I hated playing dodgeball or kickball in P.E. because I got picked last and I would always be the first one to get out. So many of my friends broke their arms and legs at recess or in gym class, and while their casts were super cool, I didn't think having a weird shell that instantly made you popular was worth the hassle.

5. Your Parents Got Insurance on Every Piece of Technology You Own
My first cell phone was a Samsung Juke, and while those phones were indestructible to most people, I ended up going through three of them before middle school ended. Verizon loved my parents because they ended up buying insurance on my first phones because of my tendency to unintentionally break things, and I know there has to be at least one other person who destroys everything they touch.

My friends describe any unfortunate day they experience as being an "Allie kind of day," and its pretty hilarious. If you grew up clumsy, especially if you still are pathetically accident-prone, you know these things to be true.