5 Titles & Plots The Lifetime Movie Network Reuses Over And Over Again

5 Titles & Plots The Lifetime Movie Network Reuses Over And Over Again

Ever notice how someone is pushed down a flight of stairs in LMN movies?
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The older I get, I tend to find myself watching Lifetime more and more. When I was younger, As punishment, my parents would sometimes make me watch Lifetime with them.

My dad would usually propose the following: if you can guess how the movie ends, you are not in trouble, which usually 90% of the time I would get wrong. Now as an adult, I've seen so many Lifetime Movies, I feel as if Lifetime doesn’t even try to hide the fact they re-use their own plots over and over again.

So from my knowledge, here are top 5 plots that Lifetime Movie Network re-use over and over again.

The “Perfect” something.













If there is ANYTHING that has “perfect” in the title, 85% of the time, the movie is about some twisted individual doing something to better their objective. Whether it ranges from the Perfect Teacher, Perfect Doctor, the same plot usually applies with every movie. Shoot, Lifetime even have day marathons of the “Perfect” like almost every holiday season.

If the movie has “perfect” in the title, the movie is guaranteed going to be about that certain “subject” that has a twisted or demented background. If you’ve seen one of these films, you can agree that the plots are so obvious. Usually the plot intensifies if one of the minor characters finds the truth about the antagonist and is pushed down a flight of stairs. I am not even surprised that this is number one on the list. It’s quite obvious that they even know they reuse their plots.

Anything with Ashley Scott or Jamie Luner.













Lifetime Movies today wouldn’t be anything without these two ladies. I remember watching Lifetime when I was little and seeing these two actresses in almost every other movie. Whether it ranged from a “perfect” category to a revenge tale, these two were the star of the show in their films. 85% of the time, Jamie Luner is playing a villain and Ashley Scott is usually playing a hero.

Any titles referring to a pronoun.

These movies are exactly what the title will be referring too. There is nothing special with these titles. These are the types of movies that are like, “We get it, he or she is doing that!” Whether it’s titled “His Purpose” or “Her secret child”, the movie is going to be about that!

“Revenge or Avenge.”

Just like the “perfect” list, these types of films are about the protagonist trying to make amends of an incident that happened to him or her in the past. Usually the plot goes as far as the protagonist going after people that were apart of what happened to the past or the main character losing their minds to avenge someone’s death.

"Strangers."

Whether this is the start or end of Lifetime Movies as we know it, if a movie has "stranger" or "strangers" in it, you best believe that this is going to be a good mystery. It can range from a person whose new to town to one of the main characters sleeping with a stranger, these movies tend to not dive in too deep to the stranger past, but motives of what he or she are trying to accomplish.

Cover Image Credit: Vulture

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right
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In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

31. "Sleep? I don't know about sleep...it's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"


35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?


39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"


I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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Is Brad Bird An Objectivist?

Interrogating the work and themes of the visionary director.

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Recently I had the pleasure of seeing "Incredibles 2" in theaters. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, it was pretty funny and had enough good action scenes to rival any summer blockbuster, and afterward I decided to indulge in something that had become a habit of mine when I really enjoy a movie, reading the critical reviews. I started doing this largely as a way to get a better perspective on the movies I like and pickup on anything I may have missed while watching. With "Incredibles 2" the critics only sang its praises, but there was something I noticed, the reappearance of the theory that Brad Bird laces his movie with Objectivist philosophy. Intrigued by this notion, I've decided that this question could use a more thorough examination by analyzing several of Brad Bird's films and seeing if it all adds up.

Before going any further it's important to gain some perspective on exactly what Objectivism is. Objectivism is the metaphysical and ethical 'philosophy' developed by Ayn Rand that is most famous for stating that selfishness is a virtue and altruism is the root of all evil. For the more pop culture inclined, just think Andrew Ryan from "Bioshock" and you have a pretty good picture of her ideas. Academically few philosophers take objectivism seriously and most write it off as a half-baked ideology with intellectual trappings at best. Culturally and politically, however, objectivism has quite a hold with figures from former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan to Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, both claiming it has influenced them. People usually argue Bird is a closet objectivist by focusing on his portrayal of elites and their role in society.

The first movie to examine, and probably the one most commonly cited in arguments about his political leanings, is his Pixar hit "The Incredibles." Superheroes are probably the closest one can come to making an objectivist parable, with individuals possessing powerful natural talents unconstrained by society standing above the masses. On its surface, "The Incredibles" seems to fully buy into this identity with one of the central themes being a rejection of the conformist and mediocre conventions of society to embrace what makes you special. Looking deeper, however, this narrative becomes much more complex thanks to that most vile of vices, altruism. The motives of the various 'supers' are inherently altruistic; they are striving to use their immense powers to help people for no other reason than it's the right thing to do. This plays out in miniature with the character arc of Mr. Incredible. At the start of the movie he is acting primarily to stroke his own ego and relive his past glory, and ultimately suffers for it. Later when he realizes that his own ego is not that important in comparison to the wellbeing of his family, he is able to overcome the villain Syndrome and save the day.

Before venturing to talk about "Incredibles 2," where many of the themes of the first movie are expanded upon, I wish to spend a moment analyzing Bird's interesting, but much maligned movie "Tomorrowland." The world of "Tomorrowland" would appear to be an objectivist's wet dream, a world free of law and government where the world's most creative people are allowed to live unfettered lives. And yet the movie flips this completely on its head as Tomorrowland is portrayed as a desolate world every bit as oppressive and bleak as the real world as a consequence of its isolation, a far cry from the technological utopia it promotes itself to be. The hero of the story by contrast, the plucky optimistic Casey, rejects this wholesale abandonment of the world and strives to make Tomorrowland live up to its promise of providing a better and brighter future for all mankind.

Finally we return to the world of Incredibles with the long awaited sequel "The Incredibles 2." The second film handles many of the same themes about the role of supers and society, while adding in a new set of issues revolving around the ethics of breaking unjust laws and societies reliance on screens and other gadgets, you know typical kid stuff. After exploring what damage 'supers' could do if their power fell into the wrong hands, the movie ultimately endorses the same conclusion that the first one reached; that 'supers' use their power for good not for any special attention, but because it's the right thing to do and it is for that reason that they deserve our admiration and respect.

Those people who see Brad Bird's movies and liken them to objectivism miss both the point of his films and the core tenants of that 'philosophy.' Bird's films are full-throated defenses of altruism and its value in guiding human actions and behavior, making them the complete antithesis of objectivism's and its selfishness. And for the elitism he displays in his films, Brad is unique among most modern artists in that he portrays elites as potentially being a good thing for society. In a world in which talent and ability are not distributed equally, society can create a sort of symbiotic relationship with those individuals by offering them prestige and status in exchange for them serving society. In this he is much closer to Nietzsche and his Superman than Rand and her Fountainhead. With the trust in institutions at an all time low, and calcified but competent elites being replaced by idiots playing populist dress up across the globe, perhaps there is some merit in considering this more positive approach to elites in society. Perhaps it will lead to that great big beautiful tomorrow after all.

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