Long distance relationships are something that is becoming more and more common throughout the years. There are more people in long distance relationships now more than ever and with this comes a more persistent need for tips on dealing with struggles that only those in these relationships understand. It doesn’t matter if you are 4 hours away or an entire ocean away. It doesn’t matter if you have met in person or if you are the type to spend all night on skype. There is a stigma behind long distance relationship that can bring many issues to the table. As someone who has had a successful online relationship for years, I am here to provide some tips to making everything work out!
1) It never really gets easier. I feel like I shouldn’t do the typical thing of saying that it will get easier. That would be lying and I know that your time in this situation has given you thick skin. No. In all honesty I believe that it gets harder. As you fall deeper and deeper in love with someone, you begin to go through bits of loneliness and sadness. This should be expected. After all, the companion that you have chosen to spend a portion, no matter how big or small, of your life with is not with you and you do not even get to see them at all. Now I know you might be thinking “Wow, this is just depressing. How is this even a tip?” I would like to say that there are things to combat these feelings. For example, skyping is very important. It does not even have to be a video call. (Though you may wish to do this at least once. Think: Catfish.) Voice chatting daily and keeping daily contact is very important. Even if you are just talking about things that you did. Skype while you both are doing nothing. Sit on skype while you do your homework and they read. Just being there with each other makes things so much easier.
2) When visiting, do not take any time for granted. Be kinder and more forgiving during arguments. Time is limited and you really do not want to spend it arguing over which one of you left the bread bag open. I’m not saying to just be a doormat or to even bottle up feelings. What I am saying is to listen to each other and try to forgive quicker. This will make sure that you don’t regret not doing certain things. Take a lot of pictures so that you can keep and look back on. Something that I do is take a lot of couple selfies and post them to social media randomly throughout the time without him so that I still could share what I had with others.
3) Snail mail is still a thing! What is better than getting a gift? Getting a gift in the mail! In my opinion, getting a surprise package always makes my month. Regular couples go on dates often and buy each other tiny little things. Do the same. Both of you order pizza and watch a movie online. Collect little gifts that remind you of your lover and send them all in the mail. Buy a birthday card and gifts to send. Use the money you would have used on dates. This can be something important that can make you both feel closer. Though I must warn: do not send money or gifts to people unless you have known them for a while. Date a bit before buying and sending gifts. You don’t want someone who is only using you.
4) Don’t overdo things too quickly. Studies have shown that those in long distance relationships learn things about their partner at a much higher rate than those that are together in person. This is because of the fact that those in long distance relationships rely more on talking about things such as themselves. This can lead to an awkward moment of not having anything to talk about. This isn’t always bad but try to ration out what you reveal about yourself. As humans we tend to overshare online. Try to stay away from that at first. This will prolong a healthy relationship.
5) You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Is your elderly grandparent ranting about how back in their day there was no internet to provide long distance relationships? Is that girl in your class picking on you for being in a relationship that is long distance? Is that boy on your school team telling everyone that you are lying about having a lover? Don’t pay them any mind. You don’t owe them anything. This is your relationship and you don’t need to prove the validity of your personal relationship. Go at your own pace and if someone is telling you how to handle your relationship, they most likely do not have your best interests in mind.
