5 Times When Your Dog is Most Likely Judging You

5 Times When Your Dog is Most Likely Judging You

No one can truly judge you, except for your dog.

When I come home, the first thing I look forward to every day is to have my dog greet me at the front door. I could've been gone for 10 minutes, or even a few hours, and the reaction is the same every time: tail wagging, panting, jumping on his hind legs, and just overall excitement and pure joy. That's what I love the most about dogs, everything about them is so pure. Three years ago, I finally got a dog of my own, and being a dog mom has taught me many things. One of the main lessons I've learned from my dog is that no one, and I mean no one, can judge you as hard as your dog can. So, let's go over 5 instances where your dog is most definitely judging you.

1. When you've binge watched the entire season of a show on Netflix (*cough* Stranger Things *cough)

We've all been there - huddled up in our blanket on our couch or bed, sweatshirt on with the hood up, food, drinks, and wrappers scattered all about - when suddenly that dreaded "Are you still watching?" message pops up. The shame you feel there only intensifies when you look over at your dog, who's been faithfully lying next to you the whole time, is staring up at you with those judgmental puppy-dog eyes.

2. When you eat your last bite of food without sharing.

HOW DARE YOU? Those eyes make you feel like a terrible monster, even if it was a chocolate bar that he/she couldn't have anyway . . .

3. When you do that "fake throw" with their tennis ball and they don't fall for it.

After about the fourth or fifth time, it can get hard to trick your dog into thinking you threw the ball when it's just sitting in your hand behind your back. They always give you that look as if to say, "I'm onto you human, and let me just say, I am not amused."

4. When they can see you giving another dog attention, or smell the scent of another dog on you.

When you come home after petting another dog, you can see the betrayal all over your dog's face. They're definitely thinking, "someone in this relationship is being unfaithful, and let me just say, it's definitely not me."

5. When you try to pose them for that perfect Instagram post.

I mean, just look at that dog's face, definitely not feeling this pose. That's probably what makes this Instagram post so great though, that and the fact it has Mike and Steve from Stranger Things.

You are definitely your own worst critic, but if you own a dog, then you know that they judge you harder than anyone else in your life. Even so, they're always there for you during the highs and lows in your life, and they will always stick by your side. So even though they might judge you, they will always love you unconditionally.

Cover Image Credit: Lindsey Bijas

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I'm The Girl Who Doesn't Like Dogs

Are we just going to ignore the fact that "man's best friend" drinks out of toilets?!

I have a confession. One that is very unpopular and could result in losing some friends. You ready for it? You sure? Here it goes...

I don't like dogs.

Wow, you're actually still reading this? You haven't screamed "How could you hate puppies?!" and slammed your laptop closed? Or are you frozen in shock by that statement and now you can't seem to move? Well whatever the case may be, I'm glad you're still reading. This is a sensitive topic and one that I'm glad I've finally gotten off my chest. To reward you for not disowning me immediately, I guess I should reveal some reasoning behind my particular stance on canines.

To put it simply, dogs just don't do it for me. Anything that is stinky, needy, and requires YOU, an enlightened, superior human being, to habitually pick up it's poop is not something that deserves praise. (And I know right now some of you are assuming that I must hate babies too because they essentially do the same things, but human babies and slobbering dogs are not the same, sorry!) I mean, come on, dogs drink out of toilets and then we let them lick our faces?! I might be missing something here, but seriously, how are these things considered cute and not gross?

I know what you're thinking. "She just doesn't get it because she never had a mutt to love and call her own!" Hate to break it to you, but your girl did have her own pooch. Santa even left it under the tree one magical Christmas morning. Riley the Dog was a bundle of spastic energy and ultimately was gifted away to the mailman by my parents when my mom became pregnant with my little brother.

Maybe I was scarred by this tragic experience and never allowed to properly bond with the furry four-legged creature and that's where my dog disliking issues stem from. I don't know, you can diagnose me all you want. I still know that dogs drink out of toilets.

It also should probably be noted that I'm allergic to man's so called "best friend." It's hard to like something that causes you to uncontrollably sneeze, wheeze, and pass out in a Benadryl coma. So excuse me if you think it's rude that I don't want to pet Fido. I'd just rather not be covered in itchy hives from giving him a belly rub.

Before I end this passionate rant, I want to acknowledge that I appreciate the fact that dogs do have the ability to do a lot of good as medical and therapy assistants. I have absolutely nothing against people who own these dogs, or against people who own dogs in general.

I know there's a reason that canines are the animal bestowed with the title of "man's best friend" after all. But for me, having a furry, slobbering creature just isn't in the cards. And that's okay! I accept you for being a dog lover. All I ask is that you accept me for being a dog dis-liker. Here's to hoping I haven't lost too many friends!

PS: No, I am NOT a cat person either. In fact, I'd take a dog over a cat any day. But that's a rant for another time!

Cover Image Credit: unsplash

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