In today's society, relationships almost seem inevitable. Everywhere you look you see a couple walking around campus holding hands, people going on dream vacations with their significant other,and sometimes you'll even see that annoying couple who goes to the Rec and holds hands while working out (seriously people?).
If you aren't in a relationship, it's likely you have looked for one. We've all been there, don't be ashamed. You spend your time looking nice, going out in the hopes of impressing someone and coming home still single. However, when you can finally get the idea of being in a relationship out of your head and stop looking for one, you may be surprised what you find instead.
You figure out who you are.
One of the biggest things I found when I stopped looking for a relationship was how much I found out about myself. I stopped looking for someone else to tell me that I am beautiful or define my happiness. I found happiness in myself. I learned to love myself. I stopped wearing makeup for the reason of impressing people. I learned to be confident in myself. I learned a sense of humor. I found more of myself and how to be independent.
Your other relationships become stronger.
I found myself cherishing the bonds I had with my friends and family more. I realized how much I had neglected my family, specifically, when I was in relationships or looking for one. Family is definitely not something to put on the back burner. You might also find yourself deepening your bond with your current friends as well as expanding your horizons and developing new friendships.
You can grow deeper in your faith.
I can not stress how strong my faith got. I put God before myself. He challenged me to grow as a person and share my faith with others. I stopped looking for someone else to show me what love was when I realized I was being covered in God's Love. If you can learn to love God deeply with all of your heart first, you will learn how to love someone else with deeper, stronger love. Chase after God and before you know it someone might start jogging beside you and keep up.
New experiences await.
You don't have to coordinate with someone or plan cute dates. You want to go to Whataburger at 3:00 in the afternoon or 2:00 in the morning? Go. You want to make a day trip to Palo Duro Canyon with friends and make memories? Do it. There is so much life waiting to be lived and you should not be locking yourself in your room watching a Nicholas Sparks Movie alone. Stop throwing yourself a pity party and go experience life.
"When you stop looking for love, it finds you."
Think about it like this: You go shopping for a new dress but never seem to find the right one, then one day you go out with no intention of buying anything, and you find the dress of your dreams. The same thing applies to relationships. If you stop looking, you might be sitting at a baseball game and the next thing you know you're being introduced to someone, go on some dates, and then all of a sudden you find yourself not doubting the fact that you're the luckiest girl out there.
Relationships are great, but so is the time when you're single. There's so much to learn about yourself, especially at the age most of us are. My biggest advice is to stop looking. Not only will you find a change in yourself and how you go about your day, you will also find a change in the relationships around you. Everything happens when it is supposed to happen and pouting around is not the way you want to spend your time. Go make memories, go experience life, go be you. I can almost guarantee that if you find these things, your next relationship will be different. Having a sense of who you are as a person, and being confident in that, is one of the greatest strengths to have. If love does happen to find you, it's going to be something completely different. You will find yourself cherishing the moments you have together in a new way, you will love the other person selflessly, but most importantly you will stay true to who you are. You will be honest with yourself and with your relationship because you found these five things when you least expected it and weren't looking. So stop looking. Let it look for you. I can promise it's worth it.
