Whether you identify as a feminist or not, you've heard the word, and you've heard plenty about the movement. If you're seemingly the only feminist in your friend group, you'll be able to relate to a few examples I've provided here. Though there are only five, I'm sure some may spark interest and memory of a dizzying debate or conversation.
1. You find yourself aching to rephrase your friends’ slightly sexist words.
“Man up and just do it.”
“Sorry, what was that?”
“I said ‘Man up,' Siri.”
“You said 'what' up?”
Perhaps other feminists may relate to this battle. They are little, but if you find it crucial to stamp out misconceptions and sexist phrases, like me, you will likely have to decide whether or not to say anything. Sometimes your friends will get tired of you for doing this, and sometimes they will join in on you, or even catch on.
2. You come off as the “bitchy” one.
You speak your mind, and therefore honesty is part of your policy. It is a part of mine, and that means being honest when I feel something could be said better, or in a less harmful way. I know I need to work on a less aggressive way of communicating, as that can be harmful (and therefore counterproductive) itself.
3. You struggle to choose your battles.
A phrase us feminists have too often heard, it always comes down to being the feminist killjoy. The killjoy (also known as the bullshit labeler) can come off as simultaneously bitchy and a party pooper. I get it, sometimes one has to let go of the small things and let things be. Part of me never wants to “live and let live,” while another part of me doesn’t want to be a party pooper.
4. You try to talk your friends into watching Mona Lisa Smile every weekend.
Okay, so maybe not every Friday or Saturday night, but you sure attempt to get them as excited about films with feminist undertones as you are! Expressing the treatment of women in a 1950’s conservative midwest college, Mona Lisa Smile delights and invigorates all feminist senses. After watching a film like this, you feel freshly inspired (and maybe a little emotional) to continue fighting for what you see as a just, equal society for women and men.
5. You come off as the "overly-opinionated" one.
I am well aware that I’ve been deemed as this to many people who have become my friends. Some people will not, and I’ve had to learn that’s okay. Being opinionated means you stand for something. Being disliked means you’ve made some sort of impression on someone, and as long as you’re a good person, impressions are better than no impression at all. Likewise, being a feminist (or anyone with any opinions on anything at all) means making a positive impression as well as a positive change, even if it is only through discussion or voicing opinions.
When all is said and done, you choose who your friends are. If you need them to completely agree with you on certain issues, that's your decision. One of my best friends doesn't call herself a feminist, and she's my favorite person to be around. I choose to have my beliefs questioned, scrutinized even, because though the equality between women and men is necessary, mirrored beliefs in my friends are not.
