Every college student, at one point in their career or another, has this moment at least once; the semester is in full swing and you're caught between feeling like you're drowning or just beyond all capacity to care. Maybe your classes are a little tougher than you were expecting and you feel miles behind no matter how hard you try. Maybe you're questioning that choice of major you were so sure of just a few months ago – or maybe you're just feeling really disconnected and lonely. Here are some things to remember when you keep finding yourself up till 2 AM with a coffee in one hand and doubts in the other.
1. It's Okay To Fail
Sometimes we put our all into something and in the end, we still fail. It's just the way it plays out sometimes and as much as we want to scream at the sky that it's not fair – it still happens. It's something everyone goes through. So if you're in tears because you failed an assignment or couldn't pass a class – drop the personal guilt trip and use it as a learning tool. Failure is an opportunity for a lesson. What could you have done differently? What were the mistakes you made? Let yourself feel the sadness or anger that comes with not succeeding, but don't wallow in it. Remember that it happens and start planning how to move on from it.
2. Things Are Always Changing
One of my favorite sayings from the dark days of public high school is, “The only constant in life is change.” The older I got, the more I realized how this silly little saying my freshman English teacher gave me was right. Everything in life is always on the move; friend groups change, ambitions grow or shift, lessons are taught and rejected, new perspectives are gained. It can be tough to deal with when everything is in transition but those rough patches are a necessary evil for growth. So if you get halfway through the semester and realize that the major you're in is slowly draining you of your will to live or that you've found a passion that you'd never considered, don't feel guilty to reevaluate what you really want in life.
3. Everyone Has Doubts
It's really easy to feel like you're alone when things start to go downhill, but one of the most helpful things you can learn is that you're never experiencing anything alone. 7 billion people with hundreds of cultures and languages and lifestyles, but the human experience is universal. The names and dates change, but in the end, we're all dealing with the same things; self-doubt, second guessing, heartbreak, and disappointment. If you're really finding yourself at a loss, talking through your strife with another person who's experienced the same struggle can help you find your way back. I can guarantee that everyone at your university has felt the sheer exasperation and confusion you may be feeling right now, and sometimes the best form of relief is hearing the phrase “Me too.”
4. 'Perfect' Is Never Attainable
It can never hurt to sit down and really think about what you're working for and how realistic you're being. Often, we are our worst critics – sometimes we expect so much of ourselves that we ruin ourselves with the stress and strain of the goals we set. There's nothing wrong with aiming for A's or wanting that 4.0 at the end of the semester, but don't beat yourself up if you fall shy of the things you want. I will always advocate for treating others with compassion and understanding, but don't forget to give yourself the same courtesy.
5. The Bad Times Will Pass
Most times when we're overwhelmed and
feeling six feet under our responsibilities it becomes really easy to
feel like it's the end-all-be-all in that moment, like the clouds
over our heads will never clear. I know it's hard to shake off those
feelings of dread and keep trudging forward but the best thing you
can do for yourself in your trying times is to keep in mind that
things really will get better. Even if it takes a lot of time and a
lot of effort, you won't be fighting this forever.
