In light of Orlando, many people in the LGTBQIA or MOGII (Marginalized Orientation, Gender Identity, and Intersex) community feel unsafe and scared, which is completely understandable. Mateen targeted a marginalized community in one of their safe spaces and took away the victim’s ability to be open about who they are. And while most people expressed their support for the victims, there were some others who felt homophobia was the appropriate response.
No matter how progressive we are or become as a society, there will always be people who seek to hurt others through words or actions. When those times are inescapable on a personal, national, or global level, there are five things you need to remember.
1. You are strong
You may not feel strong right now, but you have been through a hurricane and are still standing. There are times in your life where you will feel like you are broken and bent on your knees, but you will stand up. You always have stood up. You’ve learned so much about who you are in spite of what our heteronormative society says you must be. You’ve made progress in loving yourself, which can be the hardest thing in the world. You have come so far, and you need to remember to be proud of yourself in times of crisis.
2. You are not alone
You have come so far on your own, but there are always people ready to help you along the way. Whether the helpers are members of the community, family, friends, or even some strangers, you never face your battles alone. You aren’t the first to have to overcome feelings of inadequacy or fear, and there are others feeling the same way now. Find allies and friends to ask questions or vent or share stories with. You’ll be inspired by their words, or at the very least, know that your feelings are shared with someone else.
3. Your identity is valid
Not only are your feelings valid, but the way you identify is valid. There is nothing wrong with you for being who you are. It’s not your fault that people have been hostile or violent to you or your identity. It has never been your fault and never will be. If people don’t respect who you are, you do not need them in your life. You don’t need people telling you that you aren’t who they want you to be. The only way you will ever be happy is if you listen to what you want to be and become that person. Validate your own experiences, and don’t be afraid to rely on allies when you doubt your judgement.
4. You matter
It’s easy to forget how important you are when you doubt yourself. But think about how many times people have told you they admire your strength, or your smile, or your personality. You are a source of inspiration for others and need to remember how important you are to your support system of allies and friends. When you feel insignificant, which happens to everyone, look in your mirror and repeat to yourself, “I matter. I matter. I matter.” Everyone needs to be reminded of the truth every once in a while and there’s no shame in being your own source of love when you need it most.
5. You are loved
But above all else, remember that you are loved. There are always people who will help you if you need help, and they do so because they love you. People who came out to help during the Pulse aftermath did so because of love. They did not know these people, but they didn’t need to. In times of crisis, remember that love is a uniting force amongst all the darkness and confusion. And without a doubt, there will always be someone who loves you.
There are a lot of real reasons to be afraid of the world around us, especially if you belong to a marginalized community. But for Orlando in particular, if there is one thing that should be learned from this tragedy, it is that hatred divides us in the worst ways imaginable. The only way we can progress and heal from these tragic events is with love for one another. Pride month reminds the community that love is a uniting force and we need to remember that it can be found in each of us.
