I worked at Starbucks for ten years. Yes, I know that's quite a long time. Needless to say, I have tons of stories about the behind-the-scenes and what not to do in order to tick off your lovely baristas. Remember that barista meltdown from last year? Yeah, let's not recreate that, please!
From all of my working years at Starbucks, I have developed a great understanding of what a customer should and shouldn't do. So, believe me, I never foresaw myself as becoming the annoying Starbucks customer.
1. What?? How much?!
When I was working at Starbucks, I remember those few individuals who felt the personal obligation to speak up against the big bad, evil Starbucks corporation. That person would hold a filibuster at the register during the busiest time and complain about the price. I would stand there, look at them and think, "Then why are you here? No one is forcing you to do this!" Fast forward to today, and I am now the one silently protesting by holding on a little too long to my credit card when trying to pay for my transaction, because I just can't understand how any cup of coffee can be this expensive.
2. Look at that foam.
When I worked at Starbucks, I did my best to listen to what each customer wanted, and I mean down to the very grueling detail. If you said no foam, the most you would get was two bubbles. Still, some customers would get annoyed. I mean, really?! So I vouched that I would never be that customer, but ever since I stopped working at Starbucks I realized how much some baristas (definitely, not all) either don't care or don't listen, and sometimes both. I mean, I legit saw a barista free pour milk into my cup after I politely asked if she could hold the foam. "I thought for sure I asked for a latte and not a cappuccino!"
3. Please give me room.
One thing I do not miss about working at Starbucks are the long streaks of dark coffee stains I would get all over my pants when changing out the trash, all because everyone and their moms would dump half of their coffee in it. Maybe I was over judging back then. Maybe I shouldn't have put all the blame on the customers, because now every time I ask for room in my coffee, I never get it. Baristas, please give me room, especially when I ask for a tall in a grande cup and still get my coffee filled to the rim.
4. You ran out of what?
I used to chuckle, just a little bit, when a customer would order a pumpkin latte in the thick of summer, and I would have to slowly break it down to him/her that it was an autumn drink. That customer would look at me with a mixture of sadness and confusion and say, "But what am I supposed to do? That's all I drink here!" This would cause me to unleash a series of questions: "Was that a question? A rhetorical question, maybe? Or a plea for help?" I guess those questions would only take place in my head, because after an awkward two to three minutes of silence the customer would usually leave.
Last month, I ordered a brownie when the barista said, “Sorry we're out." I kid you not, I replied, “Wait, what? You are completely out? Are you sure? But that's all I wanted." The barista couldn't hold in his laughter, and we both laughed. Still, what's happening to me?
5. Can I get a discount?
The worst is when you pay for a latte with no foam. Then you still get foam and don't even have the coffee filled up all the way. What??
Ugh, why do I even bother coming back?
