Acne, prepubescent angst, those awkward in-between years, during middle school -- we have all been there. I think there are many people who can agree with me that middle school sucked.
If you had a great time during your middle school years, I want your life because you are perfect in every way, obviously. Middle school was awkward in all kinds of ways. You are in this weird stage of adolescence because you are old enough to not be treated like a young child, but also not quite mature enough to do things on your own. For me, sixth grade through eighth grade were terrible so I have effectively blocked those memories from my mind.
However, it was a learning experience and had I not gone through the horror that is middle school, I feel my life would be drastically different. Now, I know I shouldn't, but I am going to revisit my lost years. Here are five things that happened to me in middle school that I wish I could forget.
1. Wearing excessive makeup
Some girls went through the blue eye shadow phase in their early teens. Well, I went through the "wear so much makeup, I look like clown phase." The whole "less is more" mentality never registered with me. I thought I was so cool with my caked on foundation that was two shades darker than my actual skin tone and my bright pink eye shadow. When I was 13, all of the cool girls wore makeup, and of course I wanted to be exactly like them. So I thought the more I put on, the cooler I was. Oh, how I was wrong. So, very wrong.
2. My crazy wardrobe
If my makeup was bad, my wardrobe was even worse. I went through a huge identity crisis during middle school years and I had no idea what style I liked. I went through an angsty goth stage where I wore skin tight jeans, knee high Converse, and a whole lot of attitude. Then, I had a preppy stage and if shirts or pants didn't have an Aeropostale or Hollister logo on it, I refused to put it on my body.
And finally, my favorite: the "I don't care what people think" style. This is that part of my life where I truly believed I had a mental breakdown and just threw random pieces together and called it an outfit. One time, I wore a plaid shirt with floral pants, so yeah, it got pretty crazy.
3. My first boyfriend
I regret most of my exes, but none more than my first boyfriend. My first boyfriend I had in eighth grade and he was crazy. I'm not talking weird crazy; I'm talking about creepy, makes people uncomfortable, crazy. He wasn't the most popular guy in school, but he was the only guy who was remotely interested in me. I was awkward, weird and had a hard time making friends, and he was one of the few I actually had.
All of my friends had boyfriends and, in an attempt to so desperately fit in, I decided to go out with him. Little did I know, he would become obsessed with me and creep me out to the point where I would hide in the bathroom between classes so I wouldn't have to see him before math. Our relationship only lasted three weeks, but it is three weeks of my life I will never get back.
4. Fitting in and getting bullied
In middle school, I was the queen of trying to fit in. I have always overemphasized people's opinion of me, especially when I was a lonely, self-conscious 14-year-old.
There was this group of girls I so desperately wanted to be friends with, and they never gave me a chance to fit in. In an attempt to get them to notice me, I started to dress like them and act like them, but none of it worked. They did not like me no matter how hard I tried to be like them. That wasn't the worse part -- they started bullying me to the point where my self esteem was so low, I never wanted to leave my house. It was awful, painful, but also important.
It taught me that the only opinion that should matter is the one you have of yourself. On the bright side, I did grow up and I now value myself more than I ever have in my life.
5. Angsty attitude
Angst, angst, angst, all kinds of angst. I'd argue I was the most angsty pre-teen and teenager in the world. I'm talking raging hormones, no one understands me but the band Green Day angst. In my defense, I was trapped in an impersonal school full of hundreds of other angsty pre-teens, so it was only natural that some of us acted like this. I drove my mom crazy with my temper tantrums and hormone-induced mood swings. Sorry, Mom. Sadly, my awful attitude only got worse with puberty. I was so melodramatic about everything, my life was a tragedy on a daily basis.
As I reflect on my those horrendous years, I am relieved that I have grown so much since middle school; it was awkward and unbearable time, really. You could not pay me enough money to redo it all again.
However, it did have a profound effect on my life because I learned so much about the person I am and who I aspire to be. Although this rite of passage was not easy nor fun, I'm glad I survived it and I have moved on. And to all the middle-schoolers out there, keep your head up guys! It sucks now, but it won't last, I promise. You beautiful awkward pre-teens will soon turn into even more beautiful, slightly awkward but functioning adults.
