My parents have been married for 20 years and are still madly in love with each other. Looking at the two of them together makes me happy beyond words because they are a constant reminder that love can last over the years with some effort. Sure, they bicker as any married couple does, but they unconditionally love one another. Growing up, I always said that I wanted a marriage as happy and loving as theirs. I think I'll be able to have that if I listen to what they've said. Here are my favorite five pieces of advice about love that I've gotten from my parents.
Don’t underestimate the importance of like.
Genuinely liking your partner is extremely important in a relationship. Sure, they may have a great body or you’re madly in love with each other, but looks fade and the honeymoon stage doesn’t last forever. Eventually, you will fall into comfortable and loving companionship. That’s why liking your partner as a person is so important. My mother always tells me that she liked my dad first and that she simply enjoyed his company. That is what supports a long-term relationship.
We all have irritating behaviors.
Every person in a relationship has a quirk (or two, or three…) that annoys their partner. The other person has to remember that they also have quirks that annoy their partner and that they’re not perfect. There is nothing wrong with having small things you want to change about your person. That being said, never try to change something that lays at the core of their being, because that is who they are.
Never settle for anyone who doesn’t look at you with twinkly eyes.
Let me first start out by saying that twinkly eyes is the gentle, caring look that someone gives you when they’re in love with you -- it’s even the look parents give their kids. There appears to be a sparkly glow in the eyes of that person. My grandfather told my mother to marry someone who looks at her with twinkly eyes, and my father does just that.
Sleeping in separate beds is not an indication of problems in the relationship.
Every time a couple says that they’ve been sleeping in separate beds, people are quick to assume that something is wrong. That’s sometimes the case, but most of the time it’s just because they want sleep. I mean think about it, can anyone really get a good night’s sleep next to someone who steals all the blankets and snores louder than an air raid siren? No, probably not.
Keep some secrets between the two of you.
There are some things in a relationship that need to stay in a relationship. Don’t tell other people about the fight you had, what they do when they’re drunk, how they are in bed, etc. These are personal details about the relationship that you should be keeping private between the two of you.
My parents have 20 beautiful years of marriage (and counting) and with that comes endless advice for keeping a happy and healthy marriage -- or just a romantic relationship, in general. Love is complicated, messy and sometimes difficult -- but with the right person every second is worth it.










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