Dating a band guy was never something I thought I would be doing. I always thought I would date someone going to school to become something that makes BANK. Obviously so I have more money to live in a big house and shop 'til I drop. Granted, bands make money but it's a long road to get there. Meeting a guy who plays guitar for a band is definitely not what I had in my mind but it has opened my mind to so much more and I am so thankful for the man I have chosen. Here are some things I've learned the past three years dating a band guy.
1. People definitely judge you for what your significant other's occupation is
I obviously know that it's not a common response when someone asks what my boyfriend does and I say "Oh, he's in a band". I'm always excited for the reaction I'm going to get when someone asks me. Sometimes it's "Wow that's awesome that he's following his dream" and other times, it's the judgmental facial expression followed by "Oh, very nice" leading to a long list of questions of how that will support me or his plan B. Regardless of the response, I am always proud to tell people what my boyfriend does. I know exactly what I got myself into and whether he makes it big or not, I support him and the band's choices to follow their dream and take an uncommon path.
2. Bands starting out do not make much money
Before bands and musicians get famous, it is not a luxurious lifestyle. Being a touring musician is not at all glamorous and takes a toll on your bank account. With my boyfriend's band, most of their money that they make off of their shows goes into the band fund for gas, travel expenses, and anything else. They take a small percentage for themselves if any. Most musicians have other jobs at home while they're not touring so they aren't totally broke from being on the road. Musicians don't let the money (or lack of) tie into their love for what they do. They obviously know that the road to fame is going to be long and hard and they won't be making money right away but regardless, they still work hard to get there and love it.
3. Groupies are real
I always thought that band groupies were a thing of like the 60's but they are very much alive and still going in 2017. I guess you can call me a groupie since I go to the shows that are close to home but I just like to think of myself as a supportive girlfriend. Attending so many shows within three years has allowed me to meet so many people, make new friends, and see the crazy fans who travel far and wide for the band that they love. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I think it's a little weird but other times it's touching. Every time I'm at a show, I see how the music impacts people differently and it's really heartwarming to see my boyfriend and his band members impacting so many lives.
4. Guys definitely have drama
You know how guys always say they hate drama? Put five of them together for months and you'll learn very quickly that they have their own drama. It may not be as petty as girls, but it's still there. Granted, being with the same five people every day for an extended amount of time would make anyone go crazy and be more irritable. Being in a band and having even a little bit of drama is stressful for anyone. As a general rule of thumb, you always have to be careful of what you say and how you say it because you never know how someone will react to it. In a band, this might be more important because you know you need each other and you need to work together but having drama, although annoying, is definitely, 100% inevitable when you are surrounded by the same people for so long.
5. Your music preferences will change
Growing up in South Jersey, I've listened to country music the majority of my life. My parents come from North Jersey so I was exposed to the typical rock and roll that everyone listened to but I really loved country music. In middle school, I hit the (unfortunate and dreadful) scene phase when I was listening to Never Shout Never, All Time Low, and Secondhand Serenade. Thankfully, that phase came and went quickly and I went back to my country roots. When I met my boyfriend, we had total opposite tastes in music. I was a country bumpkin and he was a crazy pop punk guy. The more time I spent with him, the more I found myself enjoying the music he was showing me and eventually found myself listening to it on my own. Dating him has opened my mind so much more and it's way more fun liking so many different types of music.
If a band guy ever comes into your life, whether it's meant to be or not, I say go for it. Dating a band guy has filled me with so much more knowledge and experiences that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. Through the setbacks and hard work, I am so proud of him and his band and wouldn't change his job for anything.