Recently, I decided to cut my long (long) hair. Normally, I would go for a trim -- just enough to make it healthy, but not enough that anyone can actually tell the difference. I play it pretty safe that way. I haven't had short hair (short as being defined as above-the-shoulder) since I was in second grade. But I figured it was time for a change, and I went a little drastic. Twelve plus inches later, and I have the five emotions any of you daring enough to take up the challenge will undoubtedly endure.
1. Denial.
Snip. Snip. Snip. You can hear the sound of your hairdresser's scissors struggling to hack the massive mounds of hair off. You shut your eyes and tune out the soft sound of the years you've spent growing out your hair, fading into nothing more than some piles on the ground.
2. Anger.
When you finally do get the courage to look, what you see is a hack job of a bob. Your hair is flat and stringy looking, its ends uneven. A boiling rage worms its way into your soul and the only thing that stops you from backhanding your hairdresser is the five years of good hair cuts she's gifted you, thus far.
3. Bargaining.
Dear God, it's me )insert name here). Please, please,
don't make me look like a crazy person. Or like a boy. And if it does look bad, just let it grow out fast, and skip over that awkward length in between long and short. I promise I'll adopt a kid in Africa, or something, if you can just let me pull this haircut off half as well as T-Swift does.
4. Depression.
As your hairdresser does her thing, all the good times you had with your hair start to flash before your eyes. Intricate braids, windswept photoshoots with friends, and Hollywood style curls prance through your head. I'll never be sexy without it, you think as you remember the countless times your over-the-shoulder hair flip/sexy smirk combo got men to buy you drinks, or drunkenly hit on you. This is it. The end of an era.
5. Acceptance.
Finally, the whole ordeal is done. Your new 'do is all coiffed and wild when the hairdresser whips the black cape off and swivels you to look in the mirror.
"It's -- perfect!" you'll undoubtedly exclaim, mostly in disbelief. But it will probably be just that -- perfect. Sexy, sophisticated, and what you need as you move into a new and even more exciting chapter of your life. You were wrong to ever doubt yourself. Besides, even if it had turned out horrendous, it wouldn't have mattered because it's just hair and it will grow back.
