I’m going to start this off by saying cool isn’t some abstract concept that eludes many and only sheds light on the chosen ones. Cool is a tangible goal that can be achieved because cool is the intersection of distinct, disruption and confidence. The ethos of cool derives from its ability to stand out from the pack. Cool can stand alone on an island, and heathens will swim through rough seas just to get a whiff.
It’s also a necessity of cool to shake up the current landscape. That way it attracts attention organically without going “Hey look at me! I’m a game changer.” Lastly, the most important determining factor: confidence. How cool something can be, is directly correlated to the initial torch bearers of that behavior.
In this article I’ll be going through the cycle of cool and how all good things come to an abrupt end. The cycle of cool has 5 stages and to illustrate this, I've created a hypothetical scenario in which I accidentally inspire Zac Efron to make hair nets the the latest trend of 2017.
Stage 1: Inception.
(The first person to unknowingly start a phenomena based off of their own merit OR pure dumb luck.)
I volunteer at a homeless shelter on the weekends where I help serve and feed thousands of less fortunate individuals. It’s my duty to pour the soup, so as a precautionary measure, It's my responsibility to wear a hair net while on duty.
After my shift, I’m in a rush to meet friends for smoothies so I bolt out the door, completely forgetting the hair net still atop my head. I arrive to the smoothie shop and NONE of my friends address the fact that I'm still wearing the dang thing. They refuse to acknowledge it because they don't wanna give me the satisfaction of knowing I did this exclusively for attention. Little do they know-this isn’t for attention. It was a genuine mistake. I don’t have any real friends.
Stage 2: Replication
(Someone with greater popularity sees this behavior and adapts it into their own repertoire.)
Unbeknownst to everyone at the smoothie shop, Zac Efron is sitting at a nearby table in shades and a hat, just trying to fit in with us common folk. Zac looks over and sees me wearing the hair net. His interest is peaked because he’s mistaken my brash confidence for dumb ignorance. Regardless, Zac is inspired by this fresh look and has an idea. Despite the raging six pack and impressive muscles, Zac isn’t ready to post pics of himself with the hair net on Instagram just yet. Instead, he opts for a much safer approach.
Stage 3: Recognition
(The first step in the eventual death of cool. That popular’s persons friend group encourages them to continue engaging in this behavior.)
Zac gets his assistant to purchase hair nets for him to wear out to dinner with his squad. Zac is the last to arrive at Le Fleur Mi Moo and he’s greeted in a similar fashion to how my friends welcomed me at the smoothie shop.
Nobody directly addresses the hair net because everyone else thinks they’re the ones that are missing something. Zac is the coolest person at this table and he just rolled up casually in a lunch lady hair net? Should I have come in a hair net too? Once Zac goes to the bathroom, his squad has a talk amongst themselves about the hair net, which only further cements the mystique of Zac’s new accessory.
“I think it’s a metaphor for the working middle class”, says one of Zac’s friends.
“I think he’s trying to make a statement about how teachers are underpaid and how school lunches are systematically poisoning the children.”
“Wow! I’m so glad we know him. He’s such a hero.”
Zac returns and he finally gets the one thing he’s been waiting for since he laid eyes on that beautiful black mesh atop my head at the smoothie shop: positive reinforcement. His squad tells him that they love his outfit. They NEVER explicitly tell Zac they love the hair net. The first rule of coolness is to always act like you're up to speed on the latest trends. Remember everyone’s insecure about their own coolness, so they can’t let Zac know they’re behind the curve or else they’d die. Or worse, be shunned from the cool kids forever.
Stage 4: Mass Dissemination
(Now that a premiums been placed on thetype of people who wear hair nets, anybody who’s striving to be anybody is quick to jump on the hype train.)
Once Zac gets home that night, he decides to post a selfie. The caption will be something vague that doesn’t even come close to addressing the hair net on his noggin. It will be something along the lines of "Late night vibes with the fam", or "Be who you are and bring the world to it’s knees." Anyway, Zac will sleep safe and soundly that night. Meanwhile the selfie he posted will tear a hole in the fabric of cool society and high culture.
In the morning, millions of his followers will have the same reaction that his squad did at Le Fleur Mi Moo. They will look in the mirror and think “Zac is the coolest guy ever, and he’s casually wearing a hair net on a Saturday night. Should I be wearing a hair net too?”
In the pursuit of cool, all common sense and rationale are promptly thrown out the window.
Citizens will flock by the thousands to strip malls and local boutiques in search of the stylish brand of hair nets. Prom kings on the cusp of high school immortality will dole out an extra $100 to custom order a neon pink hair net for the special night.
Amateur actors and entertainers across the country will replicate Zac’s look in an effort to align themselves with the suave charm that he so effortlessly exudes on screen. Wearing a hair net in 2017 will be the equivalent of rocking a Jansport in high school. You’ll show everyone that you definitely belong in the “in” crowd. Hair nets will create this sub community of perceived superior existence. Everywhere you walk: hairnet. Everywhere you talk: hairnet. Everywhere you see: hairnet. Everywhere you wanna be: hairnet.
Step 5: Unceremonious Bloody and Cruel Death
(The over saturation of this behavior will ultimately result in it becoming a fad that future generations will bash us for.)
After about 6 months or so, the world will have moved on to a completely new fad: denim underwear. The once brightly burning supernova that was hairnets, will have flamed out entirely. The only people on the street wearing hairnets will be counter culture fans who do it ironically.
So there you have it. The recognition of cool is the death cool. If your ultimate wish is for your style to not become overdone and played out, it’s best that you do it in the privacy of your own home. Or you can take it out into the public, and watch its eventual decay. Your choice.
