1. “More than a Woman” by the Bee Gees
Wrong Lyric: Bald-headed woman, bald-headed woman to me
Right Lyric: More than a woman, more than a woman to me
What Would Freud Say? Shout out to my mom for getting this one wrong, so number one here is dedicated to her. I’m thinking that Freud would probably tell her that she secretly wants to be a bald-headed woman. Mom, while you’d look pretty with any hairstyle, don’t go shaving your head, because I am so jealous of your perfect ponytail.
2. “Holy Grail” by Jay-Z featuring Justine Timberlake
Wrong Lyric: Michael Jackson’s toilet
Right Lyric: Michael Jackson's "Thriller"
What Would Freud Say: I have a feeling that Freud would probably think that I really, really want to see Michael Jackson’s old bathroom—because jeez, it’s got to be like a palace, right? Also, it kind of goes to show how much of his music I actually listen to if I’m putting the word “toilet” with Michael Jackson.
3. “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men
Wrong Lyric: Cause though the truth may vary/ This s--t will carry out, bodies safe to short
Right Lyric: 'Cause though the truth may vary/ This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
What Would Freud Say: There’s a lot that Freud would have to say about this one…I sort of botched it. Starting out with “this s--t will carry out,” I think that this blasts my whole “I’m a positive thinker” thing. If I heard it as “this ship,” then I might see the whole song as being positive—about finding inner strength and determination to perceiver. My alternative of “this s--t” obviously shows that I think that life’s going to suck and that it’s going to suck because crap is always going occur in our life. The second part, “our bodies safe to short,” obviously is playing on my sadness of being a short person. At 5’2 and a half (that half really matters), I’m super conscious of my shortness. Obviously, Freud would tell me that my mind is telling me through this song that I’m short and that it won’t stop, so I need to get used to it.
4.“Mony Mony” by Billy Idol
Wrong Lyric: Ride your pony po-po-pony
Right Lyric: I love you Mony mo-mo-mony
What Would Freud Say: Obviously, Freud would tell me that Billy Idol was trying to tell me through song to ride the miniature horse, Nicky, that my grandparent’s need to own. I have no idea who Billy Idol was singing about (who’s Mony and why does he love him or her?), but even after hearing it, I still think the lyrics are most definitely “ride your pony,” because that makes total sense.
5. “It’s Time” by Imagine Dragons
Right Lyric: “So this is what you meant/ When you said that you were spent” … “It's time to begin, isn't it? / I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit / I'm just the same as I was / Now don't you understand/ That I'm never changing who I am”
What Freud Would Say: I’ve recently become an Imagine Dragons fan, and “It’s Time” isn’t the only song that I confuse the lyrics on; “Polaroid” is another one and there’s a lyric in it that is, “I’m a midnight talker,” and every time I sing—off-key and loudly—“I’m a midnight taco.” Don’t ask why, because I don’t even like tacos. Anyway, with “It’s Time,” I’m not really screwing up the song lyrics as much as I’m screwing the concept. Freud would probably tell me I’ve got a dirty mind and that I read way too many romance novels, because when I listen to this song I’m totally not hearing what they mean, and it's not something you’d talk about in front of your grandma…if you get what I’m saying.
*All lyrics were found using AZLyrics.
