Let's face it, men will stay immature until they hit their mid-life crisis, but there's a point where that immaturity takes over and a man child is born. Urban Dictionary defines a man child as "A child who outwardly appears like an adult – conventionally this means a full grown male that acts immaturely, or pursues childish interests."
The man child disguises himself as the ultimate man; oozing confidence and game with every smirk and wink. By the time he tells you his name you're already trapped and there's no turning back. As time goes on, the facade begins to fade away you start to feel 10 years older than him, but you try to rationalize these feelings with his good looks and undeniable swagger (yeah, he still says "swag").
So here are five signs, clear and obvious. It's time to expose the man children of the nation, and bring justice to the women stuck with them.
1. Future, goals, and responsibility are not words in his vocabulary.
If every time you bring up the future or plans for after college and he changes the subject, RED FLAG. The man child lives "in the now" and doesn't believe that there's a world outside of college to plan for. He will make stupid decisions like blow all of his money on a motorcycle that he doesn't know how to ride, or buy a cobra off craigslist to satisfy his super masculine needs. The real issue here is that he will never be able to talk seriously about the future of your relationship and won't make goals alongside you. He will most likely make you feel like you're his mom for nagging him and constantly reminding him to think ahead and be responsible. That is NOT your job.
2. He can't solve his own problems.
When it comes to washing his clothes or getting into it with a professor, he immediately calls someone to swoop in and save him. It could be you but it's most likely his parents. Once you become the girlfriend of the man child, you'll have to cater to his every complaint. He'll call you into the room to pass him the remote that's three feet away, text you to bring him food when he's hungry, and will ask you for favors constantly. If you are used to hearing, "Hey babe, can you..." it's a sign of the man child.
3. He never plans anything for you.
When you guys want to have a fun night out together the planning is all up to you. When you're dating a man child, say goodbye to spontaneity and "just because." Say hello to "I don't know" and several Netflix nights. A man child won't go out of his way to do something for you because that would take planning and effort, which doesn't exist in his world. If it feels like pulling teeth just to get him to take you out, that's a bad sign.
4. The sex is just bad.
The man child has one goal in mind when having sex with you: ultimate satisfaction for himself. If you're experiencing a few minutes of missionary followed by your boyfriend passing out on you, you have a problem. Sex is typically a time when people share intimacy and bond physically, but when you're dating a man child, every physical encounter feels like dirty hookup. The man child tends to have no filter when it comes to sex and will try to compare you to the porn he watched earlier. First of all, he should have left his XXX videos behind him and he should never compare you another girl. If your boyfriend is doing any of these things, he's clearly begging to be single.
5. He doesn't support you.
When discussing your issues and goals, the man child is incapable of taking care of anything but his video games. Honestly, you can't be in a relationship with someone who refuses to support you emotionally and isn't there for you when you need it. The man child will always claim to be there, but will never follow through and will apologize time after time with empty promises. A relationship goes both ways and when you're in a relationship with a man child, you will be giving a million miles while he's giving maybe half an inch.
Moral of the story: You deserve better. If your boyfriend displays any of these signs, you should demand a change or cut your losses. Don't let yourself get trapped in their world – a person can only watch so much Call of Duty and deal with sh**ty sex. It's cliche to say there's other fish in the sea, but there are and plenty who will treat you better. Send your boyfriend back to first grade and get yourself a MAN.
