Chances are if you clicked this, you're a little worried. You've probably been called out for being a hipster, or a prep, or something else that denotes a certain quality that you may possess. But worry no more! I (not an expert), have a definitive list to prove, once-and-for-all if you are pretentious. These are from my own experience, as I am, in fact, ridiculously pretentious.

1. Odds are, you listen to some pretty weird music.

I'm sorry but this is almost fool-proof. I have never met a pretentious person who doesn't have something strange on their Spotify playlists. Whether it's obscure Indie, to whale sounds mixed with rap, to yoga music with a female's moans-okay that's getting a little carried away. Most likely is obscure Indie, Rock, Oldies, or German Punk Pop from the 90s. But hey, if any of you have whale rap, don't hold out on me.

2. You read solely classics or Postmodern works.

This one is mostly based on me. My favorite author is Vonnegut. My favorite books include Farewell To Arms and Jane Eyre. I will rant about my hatred for Wuthering Heights until the cows come home. My friends have stopped taking book suggestions from me as, they say, they're good on the boring stuff for now. While I object to calling works of art boring, I also refer to books as works of art. No chill person does that. I'm terrifyingly close to pulling out a cigar and a glass of Brandy whilst reading aloud from Republic. If this sounds like you, welcome to the pompous and posh party. We've been expecting you.

As for the Postmodern works, this is not from my experience. Why? Because I am from the "solely classics" group of pretentious kids. And the Postmodern kids are my sworn enemies. Just kidding. But I have gotten into several arguments on the pointlessness of the book White Noise. Yeah, that's right. I've gotten into more than one argument about a book. There was shouting. Need I say more? Anyway, if your favorite book is White Noise, I don't understand you, but I do know where you belong. Camp Pretentious.

3. You're somehow connected to the thee-a-tah (theater.)

I work on the tech crew behind the scenes of theatre shows. This is the belly of the beast. There are few drama kids that aren't pretentious. I don't know why. I swear we're also great people, but there is a certain eye roll threshold to get past if you yourself are not pretentious. Sorry about that.

4. You're big on art.

Again, personal experience. But this is also a stereotype, people who go to art shows/museums for fun tend to be a bit lofty. And cool. But that's not the point. However, if you're into art and history and live in the Twin Cities, might I suggest the Minneapolis Institute of Art? Or, for the Postmoderns, the Walker?

5. You prefer British English spelling.

I have a friend, born and raised in Minnesota, with completely Midwestern parents, family, etc., who calls her "mom" mum and "tomatoes" toh-mah-toes. It's super annoying. I prefer the more subtle shows of a British English preference, rather than adopting a fake English accent. I write spelt, theatre, neighbour, organise, humour, defence, travelled, and yes, sometimes colour. I apologise (hahaha).

This is in no way a serious list, and does more to highlight my own irritating characteristics than it points out your own. But, If you share the majority of these, then yeah, you're probably pretentious. Good on you. Good. On. You.