Throughout our lives, we meet thousands of people. Whether we meet them once and forget about them or end up growing old together, we are shaped by the faces we encounter and the many memories we make. Of the thousands of people we meet, a select few are lucky enough to be our friends. We may meet them at work where we bond over our lousy job, or in class when we both realize we are screwed for the upcoming midterm. No matter what we bond over, we give our friends a piece of ourselves.
Sometimes, however, friendships are short-lived and disappear without the slightest acknowledgement. We wonder what went wrong and what we could have done to hold onto that friendship. But sometimes, we have the opportunity to seize a friendship and prevent it from fading away.
In high school, I was blessed to meet an amazing group of friends. Unfortunately, our friendship did not begin until our senior year, so we had to make the most of our time before we were inevitably separated. As college approached, we said our goodbyes and vowed not to lose touch. Some friends were better than others in keeping in contact, but when Christmas break rolled around, it was like we had never left.
No matter how hard you work at a friendship, distance does become an issue. As juniors in college now, some friends have drifted a little farther than I hoped. However, I will not let our group fall apart. Everyone has their own reasons why they don’t want to lose a friend, but here are a few of my reasons why I won’t let friends fade away to the shadows of distant acquaintances:
1. We know too much about each other.
No matter how long you’ve known your best friends, it’s a given that they know everything about you. It’s too difficult to explain your whole life to someone new, so you might as well keep the friends who already know your deep dark secrets, about the boy from eighth grade you were obsessed with, or how you enjoy going on late night Del Taco runs. Making new friends is difficult. It requires meeting, realizing you have common interests, slowly revealing more about yourselves, then finally being comfortable enough to be your weird self around them. Distance is hard, but not nearly as hard as making new friends.
2. We’re basically in each other’s families.
You know you’re in your friend’s family when you can go to their house without them there and not feel uncomfortable. At this point, their parents don’t question if you’re staying for dinner but question the last time you were at your own house. You know exactly where your friend’s junk food drawer is, and you are comfortable enough to eat everything inside.
Letting go of a friendship is letting go of a second family (and a second junk food drawer). You lose a support system and a place of comfort. Whether we’re having an adventure or just watching TV with each other, we feel love and comfort in the presence of good friends.
3. No one else understands my nonverbal cues.
We all have that look. Whether it’s at a party when we’re trying to get away from someone, or at a boring get together, we know that with a single look, our best friends will come to our rescue. They don’t hesitate or ask questions. They swiftly save us from whatever awkward situation we’re in, then laugh about it with us after. Not all new friends can respond in the same way. Only friends that understand you in every way can comprehend your mysterious side, and save you without judgement or hesitation.
4. We share too many memories (happy and terrifying).
After years of friendship, we create too many memories to count. Some may make you laugh until you cry, and other may make you cringe. Your best friends are there to remind you of the memories you may not remember after long nights out, and laugh about the embarrassing memories you made in high school. If you didn’t keep in touch, who else would remind you of your awkward phase?
My best friends from high school were there for me during the memories that are painful to remember. We survived a car accident, got each other through break-ups, and said those heartbreaking goodbyes when leaving for college. Letting go of those friendships would be like letting go of memories. As painful as they can be, memories and friends help us grow into better people, who successfully survived an awkward stage in 10th grade.
5. Who else would I hang out with during breaks?
Letting friendships fall apart means letting go of our social lives when we go back home. Without these friendships, we would inevitably be bored after only a few days. Spending time with our family is great, but there is only so much we can tell them about our time at school before we are judged and our parents consider sending us to city college to tone us down.
We look forward to winter and summer because of freedom from school and unlimited cuddle time with our best friends. College takes away our friends for months. We rely on face timing and texting to fill the voids, but nothing compares to snuggling with your best friends and disclosing everything that happened in your past semester. Our friends are there to listen, share their own stories, and laugh about the questionable decisions we make.
Although many obstacles stand in the way, and it may seem easier to lose touch with friends than put in the effort, never lose hope in the friends who have supported you. We will meet new people, yes, but they will never fully understand you as well as those who have stood by you since day one.
I can firmly say that in 20 years, I will still be best friends with my friends from high school. We may not see each other for months or years at a time, but their love and the memories we have made together keeps me motivated to never lose hope. If we lost touch, who would be the crazy aunt who told their best friend’s kids what their mom did at senior prom? I’m anxiously awaiting the future because I know I can count on those four girls to be at my side and support me through every wild thing life throws at me.
