5 Reasons O.J. Simpson Is 'The One' For You
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5 Reasons O.J. Simpson Is 'The One' For You

The glove didn't fit, but that ring will!

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5 Reasons O.J. Simpson Is 'The One' For You
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Well, O.J. "The Juice" Simpson is free of his jailbird blues. The former Buffalo Bills NFL running back was released from a Nevada prison after 9 years of incarceration on Sunday, Oct.1, 2017. Simpson has been the speculation of popular criminal law since he allegedly murdered his wife Nicole Simpson in 1995, and his recent convictions of armed robbery and kidnapping in 2007.

Despite the athlete's many conspiracies, the courts have ruled in his favor, yet again. O.J. is free to live his life in society, and that grants one long lost dream of his. LOVE. "The Juice," is on the quest for love, and you just may be the "one" O.J. is searching for.

Here's some details on the bachelor's new profile:

1. MONEY!

I know you should love a person for more than their money, but with O.J.'s record... money may be the only factor that could give him the love he's in search of. O.J. Simpson is going to be a hot commodity in the public eye for some time following his release. That means interviews, articles, book deals, more documentaries, and possibly a movie. And all of those things bring one thing...MONEY. Now, although O.J. is required to pay off his $33.5 million debts to the courts after his murder trial, that doesn't prevent his new partner from making money. As O.J.'s partner, you could stand to earn millions off of press, photos, television, etc. Honey, you could be cashing every interview to the bank. CHA-CHING! $$$

2. Luxury Living

Since O.J.'s release, he has returned to a life suitable for a luxurious retiree. O.J. currently resides in a 1.3 million, 5,000 sq ft. Vegas Mansion. The home has been equipped with a putting green, swimming pool, and plenty of rooms for you to bounce around in. Rumor has it that this home does not belong to Simpson himself, but is being rented to him by a close friend. Either way, for some of you ladies, living in a Spanish-Style home overlooking the Nevada Mountains with a big caramel man is a dream come true. Let's just be real, to live in a luxury home with any man, and know that you can freely buy and do whatever you want is a dream come true for anybody... Let's just keep it 100.

3. Low Maintenance

Our homeboy "The Juice" has been locked up for 9 years. So, if you can't tell... the man ain't gonna be requiring very much. All you need to do is spend that money and look pretty, fix him some Hamburger Helper for dinner, and rub his feet. O.J. doesn't need a lot, the man's life has been in a box for nearly a decade. The most O.J. could ever want is a freak in the bed at this point. I'm sure plenty of you reading this can fit that description.

4. FAME

A lot of people out here are desperate for fame. They want to their name on the cover of magazines and their face on the television screen. If that's what you want, then O.J. is the quickest way to gain that instant success. As O.J.'s "soul-mate," people across the nation are going to become fascinated with Y.O.U. Your name is going to have millions of Google Search results, your face is going to be the star of every mainstream television network, and your Insta Feed... girl, that things about to be LIT! Being O.J. Simpson's love interest is going to skyrocket you to fame; I'm talking paparazzi everywhere shawty.

5. He's Looking Like a Snack

OK, so O.J. may not be that "hot felon" everyone is obsessed with, but for a 71-year-old... he's not bad... like at all. Reports say that "The Juice," lost 100 pounds before his release. I guess "The Juice," did some juicing...and that's good. O.J.'s tall; 6'5' to be exact... and I know you love a tall man. Plus he's strong, he was a running back, and I'm sure his weight-lifting game was on fleek in that prison. Just what you need. Overall, O.J. Simpson has very nice facial features as well, so you need to just go for it! You could be expecting his next baby.


Despite his criminal background, O.J. will find love... and it just might be in you. His search has already begun, O.J. recently expressed interest in the Bunny Ranch, a popular prostitution spot for A-list Celebs (remember the Lamar Odom scandal?). So, you need to hurry, you could be the lucky one to end "The Juice's" 9-year celibacy.

And if he likes it... he just may put a ring on it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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